Why two gay couples? And why assault?


I was asked by someone who read Love’s Magic why I tackled the subject of campus assault in my manuscript. They commented that the subject matter seemed tricky and further added that writing a book which featured TWO unique gay couples seemed like dangerous territory for a first-time novelist. In fact that one aspect of Love’s Magic has drawn more attention than almost any other, which rather surprised me.

I can only say this. As someone who has been an assault victim I felt the subject needed discussion. And since I was attempting to offer as many viewpoints as possible on how victims and the persons close to them experience and deal with such a dreadful ordeal, I needed the perspective of both my couples in order to best explore the full range of possibilities.

But Love’s Magic is also a love story. These four men have each found someone who has become… or is becoming… the most important person in their lives. For David and Nate, it’s an already established relationship that gets rocked to its core when Nate is attacked. For Colin and Joshua, it’s working their way past some incredibly high, deep emotional barricades, particularly in Colin’s case, which make finding and keeping that relationship damn near impossible. And all of these issues revolve around the personal experience each of them has had with some form of abuse.

The four main characters in Love’s magic had to deal with assault and abuse, each in their own unique way, and no one of them handles it quite the way the others do. Each of these four men are stumbling toward their own healing and eventually share the best of what they’ve learned along the way with the other three. I needed every single one of these men in order to tell the story that needed to be told. Each of them saw the issue from a different perspective. But before they could find the healing they needed they each had to learn to see it through each other’s eyes.

I wanted to talk a bit about each of the four main characters.

Colin is the cop. He deals with every kind of assault on a daily basis as the man charged with finding and arresting the perpetrators of these crimes. But it also is a deeply personal issue for him for reasons which he will discuss with no one. There is pain buried deep within Colin that no ones sees, feelings he has suppressed for most of his life. But when Joshua cracks open his heart everything comes pouring out, and not all of it is good.

Joshua was abused as a child. He was physically assaulted by a drunken father who broke Joshua’s arm when he was eight. He knows what it’s like to be locked in a dark closet and left alone for hours with no food, no light, no help. He became a Doctor of Psychology in order to help others who had suffered as he had, but also to find his own healing. He could see more easily into Colin’s heart than he could into his own. And in helping the man he loved find healing, he also found healing within himself.

David was never physically abused. But he was assaulted emotionally and verbally by a cold and critical parent and grew up completely unable to believe in his own worth. These issues haunted him for most of his life and were the primary reason why his marriage failed. His father’s voice was still in his ears, directing his life through constant criticism of everything David did and became. The psychological damage David suffered kept him closeted for many, many years. His relationship with Nate led him to the therapy he needed and at least a partial healing.

Nate was never abused in any way. He had an almost ideal childhood. But he fell in love with a man whose self esteem had been badly damaged by a father’s coldness and constant criticism and had to learn how to cope with David’s resulting insecurities as their relationship grew. When Nate went to the rescue of a student who was under attack on the Tog, a park on the university campus, he was badly, though not critically, injured. The trauma he suffered then was the catalyst which eventually drew all four men together.

No two people experience life in the same way. It’s a unique journey for all of us. And when it comes to dealing with abuse in any form, and there are many, it often takes more than one perspective to lead us to the healing we need. Love’s Magic explores many of those pathways through the lives of four exceptional and dynamic men. I hope you’ll get to know them all. I think their stories will touch your heart.


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June 25 – MirrigoldJune 26 – Scattered Thoughts & Rogue WordsJune 27 – MM Good Book ReviewsJune 28 – Bayou Book JunkieJuly 2 – Love BytesJuly 3 – Two Chicks ObsessedThe Novel ApproachJuly 4 – Joyfully JayJuly 5 – Drops Of InkSarandipity


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Character Development…

Writing fan-fiction for over twenty years meant that when I began to write my first novel, I started with a handicap. I was used to living in someone else’s world. I was used to working with characters who were, for the most part, already fully developed.

As a result, I had no real experience at character development, and it showed. The first book I wrote remains unpublished for the simple reason that it didn’t deserve to be. It was terrible! I was still, in many ways, writing fan-fiction. My characters were one-dimensional and lacked the unique qualities that would make them pop on the page and in the reader’s mind.

My first book was a valuable learning experience, though a painful one. Faced with the reality of how horrible it was and understanding the reasons for it, I began to research tools and techniques which could help me develop characters with real depth. That’s when I found character profile worksheets, many of which can be found on the Internet. These sheets contained a list of questions that introduced me to each of my characters. Real understanding came when I moved past those early, introductory queries and began to delve more deeply into why they answered the questions the way they did.

It’s fine to respond to the question: ‘How does the character deal with anger?’ by stating that he or she reacts with outbursts or shouting. But understanding why they deal with it that way requires a deeper level of understanding. It requires going back into their past experiences sometimes all the way to childhood. That one simple character trait, if used as a starting point to deeper analysis, can lead to insights that reach far beyond that one introductory question.

I tend to fill out character profile sheets in a fair amount of detail. And during those times when I’m floundering and unsure how a character might respond to a given situation, re-reading their profile sheet can provide the insight I’m seeking. I often go back and revise or add to these profile sheets as new aspects of the character’s personality and motivations come into focus. Those profile sheets are my primary tool for developing characters, for keeping them consistent, and for helping them grow.

You’ll find a GREAT character profile form here!

 


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Feckless bints I’ve known.

Ok. I find I’ve got to say this.

My first contemporary gay romance novel was released on May 10th  2018. On that day I dove head-first into the roiling confusion which faces any author who wants to promote their book. I suspect that confusion is experienced by all newbie authors, particularly those who are self-published and therefore have no experience or guidance as to how this insane world operates.

I wrote to blog after blog, asking them to review Love’s Magic. I created a Twitter and Facebook page for my book and tried to figure out how to properly use them. I’m sure I made mistakes. I’m sure I was annoying. But I’d never done this before and I had no clue as to what constituted proper protocols.

I very quickly made the acquaintance of kind and wonderful people. People who were courteous and respectful even if their response was that they currently didn’t have the time to review my book. People who were helpful in the extreme, guiding me to other review sites, pointing me to Facebook groups which focused on promoting Gay Romance. There were many such people. Becky Baldridge from ‘Momma Says To Read Or Not To Read’. for one. She quickly became my ‘Yoda’ and kept me from wandering into the tall grass, helping me understand this overwhelming world I had just entered. Josh Dale from M & Men Midnight Cafe was another. Josh didn’t have time in his schedule to read and review my book, but he did promote it on his amazing site and was good enough to guide me to other sites which could help me with promotion. R.S. Dino did agree to review Love’s Magic and did so on his wonderful blog, Rainbows And Stars.

These folks and others were generous and giving in the extreme and were willing to help a newbie author find her way. But there were those who weren’t as kind and I quickly discovered them as well.

There are thousands of Blogs out there which exist solely to promote or read and review Gay Romance books. One would suppose that these individuals do this because they love the genre and feel a sense of kinship with the authors who write in this world, but such is often not the case.

I was shocked and a little appalled to read a post on Twitter from the publisher of a fairly well-known review blog whining and complaining about authors who dared to send her more than one review request. It was clear she found their desperate attempt to get her attention monumentally annoying. Some, she whined, had written as many as ten times!

My first thought was this: Did you respond to their first request and politely tell them you didn’t have time to joyfully review their novel? My guess would be ‘no’. I’ve requested a review from well over thirty blogs, including the one mentioned above. And I can count the number of responses I’ve received on the fingers of one hand. I am left to wonder if those who didn’t bother to respond (including her) even received my email! I mean shit happens on the Internet and emails disappear all the time. If you don’t respond to the authors who offer up their books for you to judge, how the hell are they supposed to know that you received and read their request?

If the folks who run these blogs, particularly the heavy-hitters who have thousands of readers following their every word, can’t demonstrate common courtesy and simple respect to the authors who write the books which support their efforts… can they really expect courtesy in return? Authors aren’t psychic. They don’t know you’ve read their request unless you respond to it… so instead of posting on Twitter about what assholes they are, respond to their request!

Next, I ran into a fairly well-read blogger who blatantly hates authors. She went on at length about how entitled they were, and how she already had many, many unread free books on her Kindle so stop-sending-me-free-books, and how she was in this for the reader not the authors, and how selfish authors were because every free book they offered came with a string attached.

This woman stopped my heart. And though it took restraint I didn’t respond to her tirade and just quietly unfollowed her instead. HAD I responded, I would have asked her why she didn’t simply find something ELSE to do with her valuable time.

I hardly know where to begin with this one. Authors sink years’ worth of time, effort, love, spirit, blood, sweat, tears, and energy into writing their beloved books. And without those books YOU would have nothing to do with your time other than paint your nails, and the readers who you claim to represent would have nothing to read! And yes. There’s a string attached because that is what you DO!! You read and review books! Without the string you’d, once again, be back to painting your nails and watching ‘Housewives of Beverly-Hills’! It starts with the authors. And if they’re courageous enough to offer up their life’s work to you to read and review… SHOW SOME FUCKING RESPECT, YOU FECKLESS BINT!

OK. I feel better now.

I have absolutely no fucks to give to bloggers who claim to love books but who demonstrate nothing but contempt for those who write them. If it meant that I’d sell 10,000 books, gain 7,000 5-Star reviews, and collect 100,000 followers, I would never place one of my books into the hands of such a soul-less human being. I love my books way too much to allow them to be demeaned by such a person. And I respect what authors do too much to want to see my work diminished by someone who, clearly, has no understanding of what it takes to actually sit down and write a book. To my way of thinking… an old fashioned way I’ll admit… those who have no respect for the creative process shouldn’t be involved in it. In ANY way!

I suppose it isn’t all that smart for a fledgling author to say such things. And if I’d written my books when I was younger maybe I wouldn’t have. But I’m way too old to be governed by fear of dumb people.


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Glowing reviews for ‘Love’s Magic’!

Can’t tell you how thrilled I am to read the glowing reviews for Love’s Magic! As a first-time author, these reviews are a thrill for my heart. But beyond that, it’s so gratifying to know that others see in these characters what I’ve seen in them from the start.

I’m deeply grateful to these reviewers for their willingness to give of their time and effort. They have a great love for books and the authors who write them and that love shows in their willingness to give back to the gay romance community by serving as reviewers and bloggers. It’s a time-consuming process that requires both love and commitment. I’m in awe of these folks. A grateful newbie author thanks them from the heart.

From Fay Kennedy – 5-Stars! 

“This was a first time read for this author and I absolutely loved it. The story had me with in the first paragraph as Nate and his boyfriend David bantered. But this also includes a fabulous story for Colin and Joshua’s romance.

‘Maybe some things are worth a broken heart, he mused. Maybe some men are worth it. A beautiful quote in this book from Joshua’s thoughts. I loved the Irish scenes with Joshua and Colin. Both stories interwoven and brilliantly written.”


From Dani Grey – 4-Stars! 

“I fell in love with these characters. The way they had to fight for their love and futures was a ride of ups and downs to the end.

They fight not just ghosts of the past, but also have to fight for their future. “


RS Dino 4-Stars!! 

“Janice is no rooky at writing skill. I am aware of her writing gigs for the past years and her experience certainly pays off well in this book.

Finally, I love how the author ended the book. The happy ever after is, of course, expected, yet, still, reading how it happens without a cliffhanger calmed me down.”


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Meet Nate Reese! Trying to save Love’s Magic!

Nate Reese was not pleased when he was sent to Charlottesville, Virginia to secure the services of Professor David Gardener as a consultant for a documentary film about the Revolutionary War. As an Associate Producer at Paramount Studios he had better things to do.

But at thirty-five Nate was growing tired. The frenzied Hollywood pace had taken a toll, and since he had fallen into the niche of documentary film development rather than the more visible genre of the big feature film, the upward slant of his career was less than dramatic. His time with David Gardener living the slower, more graceful pace of David’s life at the university had made him even more keenly aware of how chaotic his own existence had become. He loved the creative aspect of the work he did, but he longed for a more peaceful and meaningful lifestyle. Returning to Hollywood after their meeting only served to reinforce his unhappiness and increase his desire to return to Virginia… and David.

The time they’d shared in Virginia quickly became a treasured memory in Nate’s heart and each meeting which followed drew them closer together. When David asked him to take an Associate Professor’s position at the University of Virginia, and become his live-in partner, Nate happily agreed.

The idyllic life they share is shaken to the core when Nate is injured struggling to protect a student under attack. Traumatized by the incident, Nate seeks answers and resolution by becoming a leader of activist group called ‘End Assault’, a decision which David refuses to support.

Angry and confused by his reaction, Nate struggles to understand his partner’s decision but feels he has been betrayed and abandoned just when he needs David most.

Understanding that David’s steady, solid personality can easily transform into an obstinate, fearful refusal to face the facts, Nate tries, unsuccessfully, to keep his association with ‘End Assault’ from intruding on their lives. But David appears more focused on the damage Nate’s activism may do to his career than he does on Nate’s commitment to finding solutions to the university’s on-going problems. His refusal to heed David’s warning and leave the ‘End Assault’ movement eventually shatters their relationship, leaving both men alone and heartbroken.

Nate is committed to the militant path he’s chosen and David refuses to support his choice. Both men are right. Both men are stubborn. Both men remain desperately in love. Can they grow into a deeper acceptance of each other’s viewpoint and find Love’s Magic again?


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Meet David Gardener…

David Gardener found Love’s Magic late in life. Until then he stepped through his journey in an emotional daze, living by rules laid down by others and building his self-image around his career success as a University of Virginia Professor. His insecurities, developed in childhood through a cold, critical father, made faith in himself  hard to find. The kind of happiness offered by the incredibly handsome Associate Producer, Nathaniel Reese, seemed a hope beyond anything he deserved.

David was a man pursued by demons. His father’s critical voice echoed in his ears even years after the man’s death. But day by day Nate’s voice gently coaxed David forward, assuring him not only of his love but of David’s worthiness to be loved. David still struggled to find the self-acceptance he needed in order to release his fears. But Nate’s voice was now the guiding force in his life and David followed that voice toward the love and healing he now knows he deserves.

The years after David’s divorce were devoted to his career. The satisfaction he took from the success of his teaching strategies had helped distract him from the emptiness inside. But meeting Nate shone a bright light onto that emptiness making it impossible to ignore. Working up the courage to tell Nate exactly how he felt required months of soul-searching and reaching deep inside to find previously undiscovered courage. But when Nate agreed to move to Virginia as his partner David knew it was worth any struggle.

Nate saw in David the inner strength and steady, solid reliability he yearned to put at the center of his life, and their partnership proved to be everything Nate had hoped for. He excelled in the academic environment David provided and loved the slow, graceful rhythm of the life they shared. Both men were incredibly happy until Nate was attacked on the Tog in a brutal on-campus assault.

Nate coped with his trauma by joining an activist group devoted to changing university policy on such attacks, a group David is reluctant to support. Fearful that Nate’s activism will endanger his hard-won position as an Associate Professor at the university, he withdraws, refusing to participate in ‘End Assault’s’ upcoming Rally. Traumatized by how close he came to losing the only real happiness he’d ever known, David couldn’t bear any reminder of Nate’s attack and ‘End Assault’ makes it the central issue of their lives. Afraid of appearing weak in Nate’s eyes, David foolishly hides his real feelings which only serves to widen the gap between the two men until their once-idyllic life teeters on the brink of complete destruction.

Love’s Magic is almost lost and both men will be forced to acknowledge previously hidden flaws in their thinking before they can find that magic again. Will they choose to be right? Or will they choose to be happy?


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David and Nate struggle to recapture Love’s Magic!

David Gardener, Professor of Revolutionary War History at the University of Virginia for over twelve years is beloved by students, admired by faculty, and sought out by university administrators. He has moved past the pain of a cold and critical father and his own fears about his sexual identity to become one of the most popular figures on campus.

Before meeting Nate, David avoided romance, building his life has around his two daughters and his successful career. A quiet and unassuming man who loved his garden and kept to himself, David had learned to live with loneliness.

But the beautiful and talented Nate Reese awakened the long-buried spark of attraction with frightening force. David’s yearning to form a relationship with the young associate producer was matched only by his fear what this new attraction might do to his now-settled life.

But Nate possessed the kind of open and loving heart that David instinctively knew could lead him to healing and peace. Struggling to find a way to safely connect to Nate, David is repeatedly torn between the safety of solitude and the frightening thought of embracing his needs in spite of the potentially threatening consequences. Eventually though, he begs Nate to take a position at the University of Virginia and Nate happily agrees.

Their differences resolved and more in love than ever, they embark on their life together only to have their new-found happiness threatened by forces almost beyond their control. Nate’s traumatic encounter with a knife blade during an on-campus assault moves him to a position of leadership in an activist movement called ‘End Assault’.

David is devastated by Nate’s attack, but can only see disaster for his career if he pursues this militant course. Frightened of the potential consequences he is reluctant to support Nate’s efforts while Nate, feeling abandoned by his partner, sees David’s aversion to his involvement as indifference to the trauma he suffered.

Both men have valid points of view, but peace between them will require one of them to care more about being happy than he does about being right. Will the love they share be enough to see them through the complex and divisive issues with threaten not only their relationship, but the university they both love? Read Love’s Magic and find out!!


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Love’s Magic now available! You’ll love these characters!

Love's Magic

I am very excited to announce that Love’s Magic is now available on Amazon.

I have to admit that I fell completely in love with the characters who inhabit Love’s Magic. Meet Colin Campbell, my handsome, dynamic, over-the-top sexy Irish police officer. Colin is a man who refused to ever allow love and intimacy to touch his heart. As a result, no one was more surprised than he when his normal ‘love-um-and-leave-um’ attitude hit a brick wall named Joshua Abrams.

Unlike Colin, Joshua is , steady, introverted, and longing for commitment. Although head over heels in love with Colin almost from the moment they met, he firmly believes this love can only lead to heartbreak. At yet, Joshua proves to be the one man who can break down Colin’s emotional barriers and open his heart to the kind of magic that love can offer.

The freedom-loving Colin never expected to fall in love and certainly had no clue how to handle it. Consequently, when his hot Irish temper created a horribly destructive explosion between them and Joshua flees to his home in Illinois without a word or a forwarding address, Colin found himself lost and adrift.

His struggle to overcome his pride and Irish ego and seek out the love of his life touched even MY heart!I hope you’ll check out Love’s Magic and meet Colin and Joshua for yourself. These two charismatic men personify the idea of ‘opposites attract’, but their love story will touch your heart. Available NOW on Amazon!!

Read the synopsis here!


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Meet Joshua Abrams – He felt Love’s Magic!

Meet the heroes of ‘Love’s Magic’! Introducing Joshua Abrams!

Joshua Abrams’s early years were something out of a nightmare. His alcoholic father treated him with abuse both physical and emotional until, when he was eight years old, his mother put out a warrant for the man’s arrest and he subsequently fled to Canada.

This heartbreaking beginning created a man who was frightened of love, reticent in relationships, even with his family, and inclined retreat from intimacy. His fear of abandonment and poor self-esteem was a stain on his heart that made trust nearly impossible and love difficult to accept.

Hoping to understand himself as well as help others, he pursued his career as a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) with single minded determination, cutting himself off from family, friends, and from his Jewish heritage. Quiet, scholarly, and painfully shy in social situations, he found comfort in books and retreated to them whenever life became to real… too threatening.

His meeting with Colin Campbell, was a bolt of lightning to his heart. The dynamic Irish police officer was everything Joshua was not. Cocky and charismatic, he damn near dragged Joshua out of his shell and into a relationship which, as much as he longed for it, Joshua knew didn’t have a prayer. No one could tame the wild and independent Irishman. He’d made it perfectly clear that he didn’t ‘do relationships’.  But knowing that didn’t keep Joshua from falling hopelessly in love.

My heart ached for Joshua as he struggled to navigate the roiling waters of his relationship with Colin. He knew from the very beginning that ‘commitment’ was not a word that would ever be found in Colin’s vocabulary yet, in spite of this, his own heart was already given over to the handsome Irishman. This, for Joshua, was a journey without any destination other than heartbreak and I constantly tried to put myself in his shoes as he struggled to step away from his feelings for Colin.

Retreat was often Joshua’s default tactic when the fear of abandonment and betrayal loomed over relationships, and though it broke his heart to do it he began to back away, refusing Colin’s invitations, distancing himself from any contact other than necessary work-related meetings. And yet, even as he went through the motions of physically distancing himself from the charismatic Irishman, he knew that escaping from his feelings was impossible.

Joshua is a man who is very internally directed. He views everything through the lens of his own self-doubt. He looked at Colin with eyes which were wide-open and filled with a combination of awestruck adoration and utter terror. He knew this man was his weakness. He knew this was exactly the kind of man who most appealed to his reticent heart. And he knew that this was the kind of man who would never… could never… give him the kind of relationship he yearned to make part of his life.

And yet he couldn’t help but take the first tentative steps which swept Colin to the center of his life. Even the inevitable heartbreak couldn’t deter him. His overwhelming need to be close to Colin, even if the affair was short-lived, drove every other consideration from his mind.

And yet, his experience with Colin only served to reinforce his inner doubts and lack of faith in himself. Convinced by his childhood that he was unworthy of love, it took the greatest heartbreak of his life to prove just how wrong he had been all along.  Colin was his ‘Magic Man’, but the true magic only became apparent when their relationship lay irreversibly shattered at Joshua’s feet, leaving him with nothing but memories of the love which neither time nor distance could destroy.


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