INTERVIEW WITH COLIN CAMPBELL!


Here’s an interview with
Love’s Magic’s irrepressible Irishman,
Colin Campbell!!

Note: This interview takes place during the time of Love’s Magic, but before its climactic ending.

What is your real, birth name? What name do you use?
Colin Michael Campbell. Call me Colin… or Irish.

Do you have a nickname? What is it, and where did you get it?
*laughs* I have lots of nicknames. I’m a campus cop. Students call me everything from ‘asshole’ to Colin McFuck and Colin McHardcase. Anything with a Mc in front of it. I got the names from being wild-ass Irish cop who breaks up drunken frat parties and arrests those accused of assault with absolutely NO hesitation or indecision. If they’re a dick or an abuser, I take them down hard and fast.

A lot of my friends call me ‘Irish’ because… well, because I am and damned proud to be. My Irish heritage is one of the most important parts of my life.

What do you look like?
I’m 6” 2”, 185 lbs. I’ve got sandy colored hair… it’s sorta curly. I’m 33. I guess I have a good build and a good smile. I don’t much think about how I look. I let other people worry about that.

How do you dress most of the time?
T-Shirts and jeans or my police blues.

How do you “dress up?”
T-shirt and jeans. Kidding. I can wear a suit now and then. But I’d prefer not to ‘dress up’. Not my style. Hard to wear a suit while you’re riding on a motorcycle. But I do own a tux and look damned good in it.

How do you “dress down?”
For what kind of occasion? Jeans and a T-shirt I guess… usually an Irish T-shirt.

What do you wear when you go to sleep?
Depends on who’s there with me. Usually I wear my underwear to bed. Briefs not boxers.

Do you wear any jewelry?
A cross around my neck which I keep under my T-shirt. My sister gave it to me.

In your opinion, what is your best feature?
Hmmm.. I think probably my smile, which I’ve heard is nice. For me, my best feature is that I’m strong and am physically fit. I play baseball and tennis. I ski. So being physically fit is important to me. Plus, I’m a cop. I need to be strong and fit. I sometimes have to wrestle with drunk, doped up frat boys who are 10 years younger than me. I have to be able to handle them so I stay fit.

What’s your real birth date?
August 8th, 1985

Where do you live? Describe it:
I live in a one-bedroom apartment. It’s small and usually pretty messy because I’m not there much. I work a lot and then I go to McCafferty’s…. a gay Irish pub where I hang out.

Do you own a car? Describe it.
I own a *1983 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am Limited Edition*, and no, I won’t sell it to you. I also own a red 2016 Suzuki HAYABUSA GSX13 anniversary edition with gold trim. Won’t sell that either! It’s sort of my trademark on campus.

What is your most prized mundane possession? Why do you value it so much?
I own a mandolin that my grandfather gave to me. He taught me to play it and I got pretty good at it. I have a fairly good singing voice. My grandpa taught me to sing Irish folk songs. I used to sing them with my sister, Kathleen. It means more to me than anything else I own.

What one word best describes you?
Irish.

Familial Questions
What was your family like?
Middle class working folks. Strong catholic upbringing. We were a close family. My mom still lives in Scituate.

Who was your father, and what was he like?
My dad was named Michael McLarin Campbell. He owned a small grocery store in Scituate, MA. He was quiet but very strong inside. I admired him a lot, though I sure gave him a lot of trouble when I was a teenager. He never hit me. Never yelled at me. He’d just look at me with very disappointed eyes. That was enough. Things happened in our family. Bad things that I won’t talk about. Things I honestly don’t think my dad ever got over. Things that eventually killed him. He never talked about stuff that happened. But I saw how he suffered.

Who was your mother, and what was she like?
My mom is Brianna Mae Campbell. She’s a typical housewife I guess. She’s a great cook and a wonderfully affectionate mom. Now she travels all over with her friends from the senior center in Scituate. She worries about me too much and subscribes to that damned University of Virginia newspaper which features stuff I do now and then. I wish she didn’t. It only gives her more reason to worry. But she likes seeing my name in print.

What was your parents’ marriage like? Were they married? Did they remain married?
They were married until dad died of a heart attack when I was 17. They were old fashioned in a way. Not all that openly affectionate in front of us kids, but we knew they loved each other. My mom called my dad. “Mister Campbell’ whenever she was mad. They were both deeply religious and went to mass every Sunday.

What were your siblings’ names? What were they like?
One sister, Kathleen. She’s dead. I won’t talk about her.

What’s the worst thing one of your siblings ever did to you? What’s the worst thing you’ve done to one of your siblings?
Won’t talk about that.

When’s the last time you saw any member of your family? Where are they now?
My mom still lives in Scituate. I call her once a week and go there as often as I can. I was last there about a month ago. She’s really active with the local Senior Center and travels with her friends. She’s in good health and happy… though she does wish I’d found work closer to where she lives. I worry about it a lot.

Did you ever meet any other family members? Who were they? What did you think of them?
I’ve met a lot of my family in Ireland. We’d go there every few years on vacation. I have cousins who were part of the IRA and when I was younger they intimidated the hell out of me. Now we’re good buddies. We get together and sing and drink Irish whiskey and enjoy the hell out of each other. I have an Aunt who lives in Killarney who I love dearly. My mon’s sister and a great lady. That’s where I stay when I go there to visit. She has a cottage near Dingle which is right by the ocean. We went there a lot when I was a kid. Most beautiful place on Earth.

Childhood Questions
What is your first memory?
Playing with my sister on the front porch of our house in Scituate.

What was your favorite toy?
A baseball and glove

What was your favorite game?
Baseball

Any non-family member adults stick out in your mind? Who were they, and how did you know them? Why do they stick out?
There was an Irish gangster in our neighborhood, Mick Delaney. He used to scare the crap out of me because we all knew he’d killed people. But at the same time I had a sneaking respect for the fact that NO ONE told Mick what to do. He was the undisputed boss. I admired that, though if I met him now I’d put him away in a split second. He was a criminal and I take criminals down.

Who was your best friend when you were growing up?
I ran with a gang of guys in my very early teens. An Irish gang with loose associations with ex IRA. Got into some trouble then. Some of those guys were friends, but it was a bad environment and my sister, Kathy, helped me move past it and into a lifestyle centered more on music and sports.
I guess my best friend was Dermot Parry. We hung out a lot and since he was also gay we made out and had did some experimenting sexually. It wasn’t a ‘love’ thing though. Just two guys foolin’ around. I still get in touch with Derm now and then. He’s a good guy.

What is your fondest, childhood memory?
My grandfather teaching me to play my mandolin and singing Irish folk songs with my sister, Kathy.

What is your worst childhood memory?
I won’t talk about it.

Adolescent Questions
How old were you when you went on your first date?
If you mean kissing behind the school… maybe 14. Didn’t date much in high school. I was already out as gay and there weren’t many ‘out’ gay guys attending there.

It is common for one’s view of authority to develop in their adolescent years. What is your view of authority?
My view of authority is that I AM the authority. I don’t let anyone tell me what to do, not even my bosses. The event that most affected my view on authority? I’m not sure. Seeing what those in authority DO in general I guess. Doesn’t leave much room for respect. I respect my own beliefs and values, not anyone else’s.

What were you like in high school? What “clique” did you best fit in with?
Ran with an Irish gang for awhile, but was led away from that life by my sister, Kathleen. I guess I was pretty much as I am now. I studied hard, but I also played hard. I took no shit. Guys tried to bully me because I was openly gay but they only tried it once. I beat the shit out of them and they thought better of doing it again. I mostly minded my own business but like I said… I took no shit.

What were your high school goals?
I really focused on getting good grades because I wanted to get into college.

Who was your idol when you were growing up? Who did you first fantasize about in your life?
I don’t go in much for idols. But I did have a bit of a crush on Jensen Ackles from Supernatural. He and I both like pie! If I fantasized at all it was probably about him.

What is your favorite memory from adolescence?
Christmas in Ireland when I was 13.

What is your worst memory from adolescence?
Won’t talk about that.

Occupational Questions
Do you have a job? I’m the Sergeant in Charge of the Special Assault Unit of the University of Virginia campus police force. I catch bad buys and do my level best to put them away for as long as the law allows. I don’t take any shit. When I walk into a frat, or a sorority house for that matter, they all know they’d be smart to cut the crap and give me what I want. I don’t get physical. I don’t usually have to unless some stupid frat boy gives me trouble.

Costs a LOT of money to go to the University of Virginia and most of them have parents at home who are footing the bill. All I have to do is wave their parent’s phone number in their faces and most of the time they get cooperative in a hurry. Don’t want to lose their ‘ride’.

What is your boss or employer like?
My direct boss is Lenny Hallman. He’s a great guy and a good friend. Mainly because he leaves me and my staff alone and lets us get on with our work. An out and proud gay cop wasn’t all that common when I started here a decade ago. Lenny gave me a chance to prove myself. He didn’t judge me for my sexual orientation. He judged me by the kind of job I did for him. And I never gave him reason to regret it.

What are your co-workers like?
I have four staff working under me. We get along fine. If I couldn’t trust them I’d get rid of them. I send them out to investigate open assault cases of all kinds… all the way from simple assault to felonious assault and rape cases. They’re all dedicated cops. They’re all dead honest. It’s the only way I would work with them. I get rid of goof-offs. Lenny knows better than to try to shove a sub-standard cop at me. I’d never put up with it and he knows it.

What is something you had to learn that you hated?
That you can’t beat the system. Sometimes it’s going to beat you and you have to let that go. I take every case personally so it’s hard for me to accept it when the system blocks my investigations or victims won’t press charges. I don’t blame the victims. I don’t try to pressure them to press charges. If they say ‘no’ back away. But it kills me inside none the less.

Do you tend to save or spend your money?
Spend. On my motorcycles, car.. stuff like that.

Likes & Dislikes Questions​
What hobbies do you have?
I sing and play the mandolin. I play ball and ski and run and play tennis and… well, you get the drift.

Who is your closest mundane friend? Describe them and how you relate to them.
Jeff Kerry. I’ve known Jeff for years. We went to bed together once a long time ago to pay off a pool playing bet, but that’s the only time. I don’t mess around with Jeff. I trust him. And that’s saying something. Most of my friendships are either with my fellow officers and with my staff at the station. And those are work related friendships.
Jeff and I can talk. I can tell him things I wouldn’t tell anyone else. He’s a smart ass and loves to mock and tease me and he’s the only one who gets away with it. I don’t know exactly what he does for a living but I do know it requires a very high security clearance.

Jeff has a way of seeing through my bullshit that I can’t help but admire… mainly because I’m an excellent bullshitter and it doesn’t usually happen. But not with Jeff. He calls me on it every time… and enjoys doing it.

Who is your worst mundane enemy?
In generally, university politics. The kind of politics that protects frat boys who’ve committed assault because their fathers are alumni and donate thousands to the university. Happens all the time.

What bands do you like?
I like the High Kings. They play Irish folk music. I also like some of the groups from the 2000s, Chicago, Green Day. But I didn’t follow pop music much.

What tape or CD hasn’t left your player since your purchased it?
Memory Lane by the High Kings Why? It has some of my favorite Irish folk songs on it and they’re sung damn well.

What song is “your song?”
Free Falling, Tom Petty

What’s been your favorite movie of all time?
Don’t go to many movies but I like watching DVDs at home. I liked the Departed and the French Connection. You know. Cop movies where the cop isn’t a jerk or dirty. I don’t watch romance movies and think superhero movies are stupid.

Read any good books? What were they?
Don’t have much time for reading. Read a lot in college just trying to make Dean’s list, which I did.

What do you watch on the Television?
Supernatural, NCIS, Blue Bloods stuff like that.

When it comes to mundane politics, do you care? If so, which way do you tend to vote?
I get accused of being right-wing because I’m known as a tough cop, but I’m NOT. Once you’ve seen someone get shot I don’t know how you can’t be in favor of gun control, especially when that someone is 18 years old. It’s not a pretty sight. Bullets do fucking horrible things to the human body so I really do care! I vote and I expect others to vote as well. I’d be real pissed if I thought they hadn’t and I wouldn’t be shy about saying so.

What type of places do you hang out in with your mundane friends?
McCafferty’s. It’s a gay Irish pub with a piano bar where I sing all kinds of Irish song and a few pop songs. They serve a strong Irish Stout which I love.

What type of places do you hang out in with your normal friends?
Same place.

What annoys you more than anything else?
Having to deal with university administrators. I usually try to foist them off on my Lieutenant. They’re full of shit and don’t care about anything except image.

What would be the perfect gift for you?
An Irish T-shirt… I’ve got dozens and I love them.

What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?
The west coast of Ireland.

What time of day is your favorite?
Night, because I’m off work.

What kind of weather is your favorite?
I don’t have one. I play baseball and ski so hot or cold is fine with me.

What is your favorite food?
Pizza.

What is your least favorite food?
All the salad that my mom made me eat at home.

What is your favorite drink? (Coffee, Coke, Juice, Beer, Wine, etc.)
Coffee. Cops subsist on coffee.

What’s your favorite animal?
Don’t have one.

Do you have any pets? Do you want any pets? What kind?
Don’t want one. I’m not home enough to take care of one.

What do you find most relaxing?
Watching TV. Singing relaxes me. I enjoy it. Running relaxes me.

What habit that others have annoys you most?
Getting clingy with me. I hate that. It only happens once, then you’re out of my life.

What kind of things embarrass you?
Too much emotion. I don’t know how to handle it so I get embarrassed and back away.

What don’t you like about yourself?
I’m too quick to judge at times. I think it comes with being a cop. You sometimes have to make split second decisions because your life could depend upon it. And I’m not always right.

How would you like to look?
Just the way I do. What the fuck would be the point of wanting anything else?

Sex & Intimacy Questions
Would you consider yourself straight, gay, bi, or something else? Why?
I’m gay. Why? Because I was born that way. Stupid question.

Who was the first person you had sex with?
Doug Hampton. When did it happen? I was about 15. He was a member of a gang I ran with. What was it like? It wasn’t all that great. He wanted a blow job and I happily gave him one. I had a bit of a crush on him. How well did it go? Went fine for HIM, not all that well for me. He was rough and stupid and damn near choked me to death. Who needs that? Especially your first time. But he did teach me how NOT to give a blow job so for that I’m grateful.

Have you ever had a same-sex experience?
That’s ALL I’ve had, though I made out with a few girls just to see what it was like. And for the most part it’s gone fine. I’m a damned good lover.

What is your deepest, most well-hidden sexual fantasy?
I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be submissive. And, no. I’ve never tried it and no, I never will. I’m just curious.

What was the wildest thing you’ve ever done, sexually?
Made love on a Ferris wheel. Me and Dermot Parry gave each other hand jobs while we were soaring high above Scituate. Best hand job I ever got. Laughed our asses off.

Is there any sexual activity that you enjoy and/or practice regularly that can be considered non-standard? (Bondage, Fantasy Play, etc.) Why do you like it?
I have a reputation around Charlottesville for being a bit promiscuous. Fact is, I’m not. I encourage the reputation, believe me. But the fact is that I take damned few guys to bed, and when I do the sex is pretty much of the straight-forward, meat and potatoes, non-kinky variety. Maybe it’s my Catholic upbringing, I don’t know. But I don’t like kinky sex. I don’t much like weirdness of any kind.

Is there any sexual activity that you will not, under any circumstances, do?
I won’t ever hurt a sexual partner, even if they want me to. No way. Jesus, I see enough pain and abuse on the job. People who’ve been raped and assaulted and had their lives ruined by it. The thought of being the kind of man who could enjoy inflicting pain another human being sickens me. If they want pain, they’ll have to find it somewhere else because they won’t find it with me.

Do you currently have a lover?
If you mean a romantic relationship, no. I don’t do those. I have friends at McCafferty’s who I take home now and then, but that’s it. One night only or very short-term liaisons. I’m attracted to guys who understand that, and don’t bug me for more. I’m honest with any guy I take home. I let them know up front that this is ALL they can expect and that if they start asking for more, that’ll be it. They’ll be done. I don’t want involvements.

What is the perfect romantic date?
One with no romance or clingy shit attached to it. I don’t do romance.

Describe the perfect romantic partner for you.
*laughs my ass off* The kind that doesn’t exist. I don’t want romance. I don’t want that kind of… closeness.

Do you ever want to get married and have children? When do you see this happening?
Uh.. no. Never. I don’t even want a dog. Too much responsibility.

What is more important – sex or intimacy?
Sex. I don’t want intimacy. I don’t want anyone getting that close.

What was your most recent relationship like?
I don’t have relationships. I’ve recently been… seeing, I guess, a guy named Joshua. I’ve actually seen more of him than is usual for me, but we work together so maybe that’s why. He’s quiet and intense. He fascinates me in a strange way that I can’t quite figure out. I feel… different somehow when I’m around Josh, and that both confuses me and makes me feel a weird kind of happiness.

Can you see a relationship developing between you and Josh?
Oh, hell no! He’s a friend. I work with him. We go to bed together now and then. He may have those kind of feelings toward me, at least that’s the vibe I’ve been getting lately. But he knows better than to say so or get clingy in any way. I won’t put up with it and Josh knows it.

It’s weird with Josh, though because usually I wouldn’t give a damn if some guy got a ‘case’ on me and got hurt in the process. I warn them all up front NOT to do that because it’s stupid and pointless. But I’d actually hate the idea of hurting Josh. I really hope he doesn’t make me do that. I don’t want to hurt him. I really don’t.

What’s the worst thing you’ve done to someone you loved?
Not recognize it when they were desperate.

Miscellaneous Questions
What is the thing that has frightened you most?
What scares me most is that I’ll miss something important in a case I’m working on and some motherfucker will get away with assault or rape simply because I screwed up. I’m afraid of missing something when I’m trying to convince the victims to prosecute. When they refuse to prosecute and there ends up being another rape or assault by the same assailant I am devastated. Nothing scares me more than that. I feel responsible. I AM responsible.

Has anyone or anything you’ve ever cared about died? How did you feel about it? What happened?
I won’t talk about that.

What was the worst injury you’ve ever received? How did it happen?
Broke my leg skiing when I was 16. I was being reckless so I’m lucky it wasn’t worse I guess.

How ticklish are you? Where are you ticklish?
Not at all.

What is your current long term goal?
Catch bad guys and put them away.

What is your current short term goal?
Catch bad guys and put them away.

Do you have any bad habits? If so, what are they, and do you plan to get rid of them?
I have a ton of them! Mostly they revolve around thinking I know everything and not being all that good at compromise. I tend to try to overpower people with my personality… at least that’s what I’ve been told. And I tend to be pretty good at it. If I can’t overpower them, I charm them into going my way. Works every time.

I’m told that I’m arrogant and prideful and I wouldn’t disagree. Goes along with thinking I know everything I guess.
I have a bad temper. I get angry quick. But I cool off quickly too.

And no, I have no plans to get rid of my bad habits. Like me as I am or get lost. Keeps the riff-raff away.

If you were a mundane person, what would you do with your life? What occupation would you want, and how would you spend all your time?
I’m doing what I want to do. I want to catch people who rape or assault others and put them away for as long as humanly possible.

What time period do you wish you had lived in? Why? (Looking at this as an attempt to change history doesn’t count.) What appeals to you about this era?
I’d like to live in the 1600s in the American West. I think I’d have made a good Sheriff in a place like Tombstone. It appeals to me because it’s open, free, and anything’s on the table.

How private of a person are you? Why?
I’m a very private person. I crack a lot of jokes and am considered a pretty fun guy to be around, but not many people know the real Colin Campbell. The things that mean the most to me are the things that I can’t talk about… or won’t talk about.

If you were to gain an obscenely large sum of money (via an inheritance, a lawsuit, a lottery, or anything else) what would you do with it?
Go on a trip to Ireland for a few months. Buy my mom a new house, though I doubt she’d want it. I don’t know. Don’t think much about money. I make enough.

What would you wish for if you found a genie?
That I catch every single abuser or rapist on the University of Virginia campus and put them away for as long as the law allows.

What do you do when you are bored?
Sing or run. I run a lot.

What is the most frightening potential handicap or disfigurement you can conceive of? What makes it so frightening?
I’d hate any handicap that kept me from playing ball or running. Kept me from any of the sports that I love. I’m not sure what I’d do with myself if that happened. Not sure how I’d work off all the excess energy roiling around inside me. I’m afraid I’d go nuts.

Thanks for talking with us Colin! Hope you’ll come back again! 
No sweat!


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