Throw in another sex scene!!

“Throw in another sex scene!” said the guy who was betaing (is that a word?) my book. Then he added: “You know you want to!”

Well, actually I didn’t want to. Not because I don’t like writing sex scenes between my characters, because I do. These guys love each other, or are well on their way to loving each other and I want them to show it! But I don’t think the point to gay romance is two guys (or more) clawing at each other every other paragraph. I don’t write erotica. I write romance.

My assumption is, these guys are having sex a lot more often than I’m writing about it. My book doesn’t chronicle every second of their day. There’s a story going on here and I write in service to that story, not to my character’s libido. I mean there are only so many ways that two human beings can make love. The logistics of the experience are well known. There’s no doubt that you can explore a ton of alternative positions like armpits and what have you. I also realize that there are many types of sexual experiences open for writers to explore and that’s all very well and good.

But basic meat and potatoes sex isn’t really all that complicated. Two penis’s, , two testicles, two pair of hands, two mouths, two anal receptacles. That’s pretty much the basic equipment. Now combine them in any way that suits you. After awhile though it would all have to come out sounding pretty much the same, at least mechanically. Insert tab A into slot B.

What makes a sex scene unique, in my opinion, isn’t the sex, it’s the feelings being expressed during the sex. It’s the emotions that lead TO the sex. It’s the sentiments that are expressed AFTER the sex. The sex itself, the mechanics of it all… who cares? To me that’s barely worth mentioning. How many ways ARE there to give a blowjob? Only one that I know of. But there are a million ways to experience that blowjob both as a giver and a receiver and THAT is where my interest lies.

It’s that singular moment – that split second – when their eyes meet and their very souls cry out in an ecstasy that is secondary to the unity of their bodies. That is where my interest lies. If I can somehow capture that moment, then it’s not a sex scene anymore. It is a joining of two human spirits that transcends the physical. A joining that fills an emptiness which is experienced in the spirit rather than in the body. I want to write sex scenes where bodies are a means to that end rather than the end itself.

I want my characters to feel differently after they’ve made love. I want them to BE different. I want the experience to bring a sea-change that alters them and their relationship in ways which are fundamental to the story I’m trying to tell.

In Love’s Magic, the very first time Colin and Joshua make love, Colin is instantly transformed. He might not have fully realized it at the time, and god knows he put them both through the tortures of the damned before he’d finally admit it. But the experience altered him. It opened a place within him which had been crusted over and barricaded tightly shut. Joshua’s kind, gentle nature touched that wounded place within our tough, Irish cop and coaxed open a small window allowing healing and light to penetrate.

That’s what a sex scene should do, in my opinion. It should bring light to the dark places within our character’s soul. At least the ones we write about should. Every sexual encounter between our guys might not bring that sense of profound healing and change. Sometimes they’re just making love. It’s pleasurable and satisfying and they enjoy the hell out of it, but it doesn’t move their souls. Those moments are fun for them and I’m glad they have those moments. I just don’t want to write about them. I’ll give them their privacy during those encounters. I’ll only stick my nose in when they have those soul-moving moments that propel our story, and their relationship into new and unexplored territory!

So, nope. I didn’t add another sex scene. I did want to, he wasn’t wrong. But truth is… I just didn’t see the point.


 

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Interview with Joshua Abrams

Interview with Joshua Abrams

Note: This interview takes place during the time of Love’s Magic, but before its climactic ending.

Interviewer: Why did you want to become a psychologist.

Joshua: I suppose the main reason was so I could help others find healing from the emotional damage they’d suffered in their lives. As one who has acquired a bit of emotional baggage myself, I can relate to my patients and in helping them, I hope to, perhaps, find my own healing.

Interviewer: How would you describe your relationship with Colin Campbell?

Joshua: We’re friends and we work together, at least that’s how he sees it.

Interviewer: And how do you see it?

Joshua: I don’t know how anyone could be around Colin and not fall in love with him. Perhaps I see it that way because I have a weakness for men like him, and by that I mean men with whom I have no chance whatsoever of forming a real relationship.

At McCafferty’s, the boys who hang around the piano bar hoping to get a little time with him call him ‘The Magic Man’. And I suppose that says it as well as anything could. Once he casts his spell on you, you’re hooked forever. His kind of enchantment doesn’t go away. I’m not sure how anyone could resist him. And by that I don’t mean just gay men. I mean anyone. Male or female. Gay or straight. He has a magnetism that simply can’t be denied.

Interviewer: So you’re saying you’re in love with him.

Joshua: I guess I am saying that. Maybe I just want to think that he can’t be resisted because I couldn’t resist him. 😉

Interviewer: You seem to see more of him that most of the men he dates.

Joshua: Well, I think there are two reasons for that. 1.) We work together so stopping for a drink after work is easy and natural. And 2.) I’m a pretty good cook and Colin likes to eat, so it’s not hard for me to lure him to my apartment for dinner now and then.

But the fact that I get more time with him than some of the guys he sees socially doesn’t mean a thing. He makes it clear to me all the time that we’re not in ‘a relationship’, that we’re not ‘involved’ in any way.

Interviewer: That seems cruel.

Joshua: No, Colin is never cruel. When he speaks to me about the ‘status’ of our relationship he always does so with a great deal of kindness. He’s aware of how I feel about him, and he genuinely doesn’t want to hurt me. It’s very important to him to be honest with me so that I don’t get any erroneous ideas about where our relationship is heading. And I don’t.

Interviewer: Where do you think it’s heading?

Joshua: My assumption is that eventually I’ll back away and stop seeing him. In fact I’ve started to back away already.

Interviewer: Why?

Joshua: It’s inevitable that our relationship will end, at least our social/sexual relationship. Colin doesn’t form lasting relationships. Everything is short-term with him. He guards his independence with fierce determination, almost like he’s afraid to get too close to anyone.

And, frankly, I can’t go on seeing him on a purely sexually basis. I feel too strongly about him to minimize what we share by accepting it as being that one-dimensional. In a way, I respect him too much… respect how I feel about him too much settle for being his ‘fuck buddy’. The way I feel about Colin deserves more.

Interviewer: Isn’t it rather self-defeating to spend time with someone who obviously doesn’t return your feelings?

Joshua: I thought about it a lot even before we got together for the first time. Colin is a perfect fit for every single neurosis that plagues my mind and heart. He meshes seamlessly with the low sense of self-worth I received as a gift from my abusive father. I knew before we kissed for the first time that I’d fall for him and probably end up with a broken heart.

But you have to know Colin. You have to be around him to understand. He’s so incredibly magnetic. He crackles with energy and zest for life. He smiles, and the temperature in the room goes up ten degrees. He sings like an angel and dances like a sex-obsessed whirlwind. He is every kind of charismatic you can imagine. He’s FUN! He’s a prankster. He makes every moment you’re with him entertaining and enjoyable. How could I NOT drink from that cup when it was offered? How could I say ‘no’ to that experience even knowing it came with a painful emotional price tag? I guess the fact is I couldn’t.

Interviewer: Does Colin have emotional baggage?

Joshua: I’m sure he does. In fact, I feel strongly that everything in his life revolves around a core emotional experience that he has yet to deal with fully. I don’t know what it is and I dare not ask. The walls he’s built around that part of his life are not only high and thick, they are as sensitive to the touch as an aching tooth. If you get too close to that place inside him, he recoils as though he’s been shot, and literally snarls like a wounded animal. I’d give anything if he’d let me help him. Anything. But he protects that secret with a fierce resolve. No one gets close enough to see or understand it. Certainly I haven’t. I only know it dominates his life.

Interviewer: Your father was abusive?

Joshua: He was – and still is as far as I know – an alcoholic who was both physically and emotionally abusive to my mother and myself, which naturally enough led me to approach life from a fairly introverted perspective. Even after eight years of training as a psychologist which taught me all I’d ever need to know about the issues which arise from an abusive childhood, there’s still a little boy inside me who believes it was his fault that his father didn’t seem to love him. I know in my mind that this is an erroneous concept. None of it was my fault. But knowing and believing can be two different things. Your mind can lie to you.

My father used to lock me in a dark closet for hours on end. I’d just sit there alone and cry. So my fear of abandonment and betrayal is quite high. I suppose with Colin, the fact that I knew from the get-go where it was heading bypassed any sense of betrayal I might feel when it ends. It’s not a betrayal. It’s not abandonment. It’s just Colin being Colin… which he’s been totally honest about from the very beginning.

Interviewer: Where is your father now?

Joshua: When I was eight years old he broke my arm when I tried to stop him from beating on my mother. We both ended up in the hospital and she filed charges against him. When he discovered that there was a warrant out for his arrest he fled to Canada and as far as we know he’s still there. We never heard from him again.

Interviewer: What is it like to work with Colin? Isn’t it hard given how you feel about him?

Joshua: It’s not hard at all. It’s a joy. No one who hasn’t see Colin operate as a police officer really knows him. The guys at the bar who think he’s hot and crave time in bed with him don’t know him at all. He is nothing like the persona he flashes in those social environments. Nothing.

He’s absolutely one-hundred per-cent dedicated to helping the victims of violent crime. When he deals with these victims he is gentle and incredibly protective. He can be almost obsessive about putting the perpetrators of these crimes behind bars and takes it very personally when the victims won’t prosecute or when he is unable to make a case against the accused.

There’s something deeper going on inside him when it comes to these cases. I don’t know what it is yet, but the work he does is more personal to him than one might consider normal. Watching him… helping him with these cases is tremendously fulfilling. And, he needs me. I help him find perspective at times when his emotions get too involved. And that makes me feel good.

Interviewer: Colin is unquestionably an alpha male. Is it hard to keep your own personality intact when you’re around him? Doesn’t he tend to overpower you?

Joshua: I don’t let that happen. Firstly, I don’t see him that much outside of work. Not only because he wants it that way, but also because I want it that way. He loses interest quickly so I try to maintain a bit of distance so that he doesn’t become bored with me.

Secondly, I know Colin well enough to know that he wouldn’t waste even a half-second of his precious time on a man he couldn’t respect. If I let him ride rough-shod over me I’d lose his respect and I’d never see him again. He may end up ending our social relationship… or I will. But when we walk away from each other, I insist that it be from a position of respect. I don’t let him push me around. I don’t let him disregard my feelings and opinions. He doesn’t have to return my feelings and I know damn well he doesn’t. But I do insist that he respect them. And he does.

Interviewer: What’s he like when he’s angry? Does he get angry with you?

Joshua: He’s Irish. Of course he gets angry. But oddly enough the angrier Colin gets, the quieter he gets. Colin hates losing control. He keeps a tight rein on his feelings. So, no, I’ve never seen him explode with anger. He’s been annoyed with me a few times… mainly at those times when I show too much emotion or get too sentimental with him. But he never yells at me or become abusive. He simply takes me home and doesn’t call me for a week. I guess he figures that’s punishment enough.

Interviewer: Is it?

Joshua: It’s punishment, because I do like being with him. But I still see him at work so it’s not like he can cut me out of his life completely even when he’s annoyed with me. And I’ll say this… when he gets in those moods I say and do nothing. I don’t ask him what’s wrong. I don’t tell him I miss him. I say and do nothing. Moments like those are a test and I make damn sure I pass. Getting clingy with Colin is a sure-fire way to get yourself kicked to the curb.

Interviewer: What kind of lover is he?

Joshua: Just what you’d expect. He’s as good at that as he is at everything else he does. The times when we make love are the weirdest moments in our relationship in ways. He’s so accessible then. So emotionally available. It’s almost as though those moments make it hard for him to keep his emotional barriers in place.

Don’t get me wrong. He doesn’t get all lovey-dovey even when we make love. He’s still Colin and he still keeps his distance. But there’s something in his eyes when he looks at me then… an openness that I don’t see at any other time.

He knows it too. He knows I see it. He teeters on the brink of something at times like those. It’s as though he knows he’s on the thin edge of letting himself feel something that is normally barricaded behind a million layers of rock. And, naturally enough, that makes him angry. Not angry at me. Angry at himself. And… at those moments he always has to reiterate that we’re not – and never will be – in a real relationship. I’ve almost come to expect it. And I’ve learned not to let it bother me.

Interviewer: What will you do when it ends? Won’t it be hard to go on working with him?

Joshua: I’ll probably move back to Glencoe, Illinois when our relationship ends. I’m sick of working for Title IX anyway. It’s too restrictive. I have too many limitations put on what I can or can’t say to my patients. I need a more open environment. As far as Colin goes… it’ll be hard to leave Charlottesville knowing I’ll probably never see him again. I feel certain that when I go I’ll be taking a broken heart with me. But being with him has been worth it. It really has. He’s a rare and incredible man and I know he’s not someone I will ever get over or forget. I’m not sure how anyone could.

Interviewer: Pick a song that describes you and Colin.

Joshua: Could it be anything else?

Magic Man

Cold, late night so long ago
When I was not so strong you know
A pretty man came to me
I never seen eyes so blue
You know, I could not run away it seemed
We’d seen each other in a dream
Seemed like he knew me, he looked right through me, yeah

“Come on home, girl” he said with a smile
“you don’t have to love me yet, let’s get high awhile
But try to understand, try to understand
Try, try, try to understand, I’m a magic man”

Winter nights we sang in tune
Played inside the months of moon
“Never think of never..let this spell last forever”
Well, summer lover passed to fall
Tried to realize it all
Mama says she’s worried, growing up in a hurry

“Come on home, girl” Mama cried on the phone
“Too soon to lose my baby yet, my girl should be at home”
But try to understand, try to understand
Try, try, try to understand, he’s a magic man, Mama, ah
He’s a magic man

“Come on home, girl” he said with a smile
“I cast my spell of love on you, a woman from a child”
But try to understand, try to understand
Oh, oh, try, try, try to understand,
He’s a magic man, oh, he’s got the magic hands

Oh’s over top

“Come on home, girl” he said with a smile
“You don’t have to love me yet, let’s get high awhile”
But try to understand, try to understand
Try, try, try to understand, he’s a magic man, yeah, oh


Want sneak peeks at new Janice Jarrell projects? How about deleted scenes, alternate endings, early drafts, book release details, and exclusive giveaways?
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Reach me at: jjarrell@lovesmagic.online
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EVENTS LEADING UP TO LOVE’S TRIALS RELEASE!

LOTS and lots of events happening as the release date for Love’s Trials approaches. Many readers are dying to know what comes next for Colin and Joshua and Love’s Trials will provide all the answers. This dynamic and remarkable couple stole everyone’s heart, and Love’s Trials will not only answer all our reader’s question but will explore Colin and Joshua’s lives with a depth and intimacy that will take your breath away.

Not all goes well for our heroes in Love’s Trials. As the name might suggest, they are forced to deal with forces outside their control which threaten not only their relationship, but their very existence.

As the release date for Love’s Trials grows closer I’ll be revealing more and more details about what lies ahead for Colin and Joshua. Most of these details will be discussed during Author Takeovers I’ll be doing on Facebook. These events are a ton of fun and offer readers the chance to ask questions, win prizes, and gain access to teasers, excerpts, and swag which will be offered nowhere else.

The Revolutionary Heart website has just introduced an Event Calendar which will let you keep track of ALL the important Takeovers, Cover Reveal, and Release Day Events taking place. Be sure to check it out so you don’t miss a chance to get in on the fun and prizes! Please note that most Author Takeovers which are held in Facebook Groups require you to join the group before the event takes place.

Here’s a list of my current events!! Hope you can join me for lots of fun, prizes, and giveaways!

Author Takeovers

Date: August 9th

Time: 8:00 – 9:00 PM Eastern – 5:00  –  6:00 PM Pacific

Place: CLICK HERE TO JOIN THE G SPOT!!

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Authors T.N. Nova and Colette Davison will be doing a TAKEOVER in my group, Jan’s Jazzy Jammers!! You won’t want miss the fun! Giveaways, prizes, and excerpts from their upcoming release ‘For Your I Fall’!

Date: August 21st
Time: 3:00 PM Eastern – 1:00 PM Pacific

Please join the group before the event takes place.

CLICK HERE TO JOIN JAN’S JAZZY JAMMERS!

________________________________________________________________

Please join me in the wonderful group ‘MM BANTER’ for an Author Takeover.

Date: August 26th
Time: 3:00 PM Central  – 1:00 PM Pacific

There will be GIVEAWAYS, PRIZES, excerpts from
my upcoming release ‘Love’s Trials’ and tons of fun.
Please join the group before the event takes place.

Click here to join the MM BANTER GROUP!

________________________________________________________________

Join me in Aimee’s Dye Hards for an afternoon of fun, giveaways, prizes and excerpts from my latest novel! Be sure to join the group before the takeover date!

Date: September 12th
Time: 1:00 PM Eastern – 10:00 AM Pacific

Click here to join Aimee’s Dye Hards!!!

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Join me for an Author TAKEOVER in Denning’s Darlings! We’ll be doing giveaways, handing out prizes, playing games, and showing excerpts and video teasers for my upcoming release, Love’s Trials!! DON’T MISS IT! Please remember to join the group before the takeover date.

Date: September 26
Time: 12:00 PM Eastern – 9:00 AM Pacific

CLICK HERE TO JOIN DENNING’S DARLINGS!

________________________________________________________________

Join me in author T.N Nova’s SUPERNOVAS group for an Author Takeover! We’ll be talking almost exclusively about the stunning new sequel to Love’s Magic entitled LOVE’S TRIALS! There will be giveaways, swag envelope prizes, games, and tons of fun!! Please be sure to join the group before the takeover event!

Date: October 4th
Time: 2:00 PM Eastern – 11:00 AM Pacific

CLICK HERE TO JOIN THE SUPERNOVAS!!

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Special Events! 

September 12th – LOVE’S TRIALS COVER REVEAL

October 12th – LOVE’S TRIALS RELEASE DATE

________________________________________________________________

I’d love to see all of you at these fantastic events. Hope you can stop by and win some swag, ARC copies of my books, or other fabulous prizes.

Hope to see you there!


Want sneak peeks at new Janice Jarrell projects? How about deleted scenes, alternate endings, early drafts, book release details, and exclusive giveaways?
Join our VIP group, Jan’s Jazzy Jammers, for a behind the scenes look at all of this and more!


Reach me at: jjarrell@lovesmagic.online
Facebook: Love’s Magic
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On The Stairs – A HOT Colin and Josh short story!!

Click here to download ‘On The Stairs’ in EPUB format!

Click here to download ‘On The Stairs’ in MOBI format!

WARNING: The time frame of this story occurs AFTER the events of Love’s Magic. If you have not yet read the book THIS STORY CONTAINS SPOILERS!


Joshua loved their kitchen more than any other room in the house, with the possible exception of their bedroom. It was warm, cozy, and boasted an octagon shaped dining area which Joshua had decorated with transparent curtains to obscure nothing of the view beyond. He sat every morning with Colin drinking coffee and basking in the light which poured through those curtains. And as he gazed past his gorgeous lover he saw the smooth flowing waters of the Rivanna River as it wound its way past their home and was content.

Add to that the simple fact that Joshua loved cooking for Colin. Loved it beyond any measure of comparison that could be considered even remotely reasonable. Colin didn’t insist that Joshua do the cooking. In fact, he offered again and again to bring food home and repeatedly invited Joshua to go out to dinner. But Joshua usually declined.

He had his own, fairly unique, perspective on cooking for someone you love, which he explained to Colin like this: “I’m creating something for you with my own two hands that will become part of your body. The body I love. It’ll be the blood flowing through your veins, Colin! It’ll be part of your heart… part of every cell in your body, part of your mind, part of the very thoughts you think! To me that is the most sensual thing one human being can do for another.”

Colin understood that he’d be a complete idiot to argue this point, so he kissed Joshua with passionate intensity, and pointed him toward the kitchen.

And yet, Joshua could be lured away from the kitchen. Even as he stood at the counter, surrounded by chopped vegetables there were enticements which overrode his desire to fill Colin with vitamins and minerals.

It was a Saturday morning and Joshua was wrestling with a large spaghetti squash, trying to cut it into halves suitable to use as ‘boats’ for a spicy, cheese-covered filling. He’d been vaguely aware of the sound of Colin’s shower emanating from above his head but didn’t really notice that it had stopped until Colin strolled into the kitchen dressed in nothing except the leftover water droplets which still sparkled on his skin.

Joshua was used to the sight of Colin’s naked body but that familiarity hadn’t, in any way, lessened the effect the sight had on him. His grip on the knife tightened and his mouth fell open.

Colin leaned against the fridge and cocked an eyebrow. “Better be careful with that knife.”

“Yeah,” Joshua replied, his voice a rasp in his throat. He sat the knife down and took a step back, staring at his lover.

They’d been together for four months. Long enough for Joshua to have almost grown accustomed to the fact that he was living with the man of his dreams. But there were moments when the enormity of that reality exploded in his brain like a blast of dynamite. He sucked in a quick breath and took another step back.

Noticing, Colin’s eyebrows lifted questioningly. “You OK?”

“Yeah,” Joshua breathed out. Then for a moment he just stared.

Colin was magnificent, and Joshua’s eyes swept hungrily over the body he cherished. Broad shoulders, below which flowed the hard, warm muscles of his chest, touched only gently by softly curling hair. His powerful arms rippled with sinew. His lean waist, corrugated abdomen, and long, powerfully built thighs and legs never failed to make Joshua’s mouth water. And though hidden from his view at the moment, Joshua had no problem recalling the firm, tempting roundness of Colin’s ass. Add to that his handsome face with its Irish freckles, fair skin, and honeyed-green eyes and the amazing picture was complete.

Incredibly masculine and sizzling with sensual heat, Colin was breathtaking. He had always exuded an energy which was blatantly, invitingly erotic. And yet he seemed totally oblivious to the heat his magnetism generated in others. That heat had ensnared Joshua’s mind and body from the moment they met… just as it did today.

Looking at Colin now a hot flame of desire rose within him, a passion so instantly all-consuming that it took his breath. With a choked off moan, he closed the distance between them and his shaking hands fell onto his lover’s body. Restlessly, they moved over Colin’s chest, caressing his pectorals before sliding to his shoulders.

“God, you are so fucking hot,” Joshua breathed out, then lifted his head and stared into Colin’s eyes, seeing the hunger in his groin mirrored in their emerald-green light. “Do you have any idea how much I love you?” Joshua breathed out. “Do you know that you’re everything to me?”

Colin’s only response was a smile and Joshua moaned again, lost in the feeling of smooth skin and firm muscles beneath his fingers, his hard cock pulsing in time with his heartbeat as the aching desire within him re-doubled.

“Of course I know,” Colin murmured finally, his deep, rumbly voice sending shivers down Joshua’s spine. “I’ve always known, Josh. And you know I feel the same about you.” He didn’t move into Joshua’s touch seemingly content, for the moment, to let his lover to explore his body, claim every inch of skin and muscle, caress him… stroke him. But as Joshua’s fingertips began to tease his nipples he caught his lower lip between his teeth and gasped out Joshua’s name, a grate of urgency in his voice.

Joshua smiled and slid his fingernails down Colin’s sides and hips, gently at first, then harder as they moved back up his lover’s body. He felt dizzy, disconnected from the world, conscious only of his desperate need and the man who stood before him.

Colin, gasped as Joshua’s teasing fingers moved over his skin. The hungry passion of his lover’s touch vibrated through him, sending shudders of desire through every cell, hardening his cock in an instant. With a low moan, his fingers gripped the hem of Joshua’s t-shirt and yanked it over his head. One powerful arm encircled Joshua’s waist and jerked him forward, crushing his body against Colin’s chest. Groaning, Joshua threw his arms around Colin’s neck, returning his lover’s embrace as he felt Colin’s teeth close at the crook of his neck and bite down.

“God!” Joshua cried, feeling his already engorged cock pulse again and again as Colin’s teeth, lips, and tongue continued to tease and torment the skin already so sensitive to his touch. He arched his head back with a moan, his gesture begging Colin to lick, bite, kiss, longing to feel Colin’s full, wet mouth devour his skin.

Still sucking on Joshua’s neck, Colin’s fingers fumbled at the snap to his jeans then jerked it open. Both hands grasped the waistband and ripped the jeans apart forcibly lowering the zipper. His tongue slid lower on Joshua’s throat as he blindly shoved the jeans down until Joshua could kick them away.

Finally as naked as his lover, Joshua cried out in pleasure as their erections pressed together, rubbing and grinding against each other as they kissed with an almost frantic intensity, tongues meeting and caressing.

Writhing in each other’s arms, they both moaned. “God, Colin,” Joshua gasped. “Upstairs. Please! Let’s go upstairs!”

Colin nodded and clutched Joshua close, half-dragging him toward the stairs. They lurched half-way up, halting every few seconds to kiss and frantically caress each other’s bodies, before Colin moaned and fell to his knees.

“Fuck this!” he half-growled. His hand grasped Joshua’s erection, stroking and caressing, while his free hand slid behind Joshua’s cock to caress and tease his scrotum. With an anguished moan, his lips and tongue danced over the smooth head of Joshua’s erection while above him he heard his lover cry out and felt him sag, knees buckling at the touch of Colin’s mouth.

“Do it!” Joshua begged, collapsing onto the stairs at Colin’s feet. “Oh god, Colin, please! Do it now!”

Colin licked once up the length of Joshua’s cock, a long, wet, slow glide of his tongue, then he slid the engorged flesh into his mouth, hearing Joshua’s pleas dissolve into short, sharp gasping breaths which hitched in his throat, lost in the wave of blazing hot desire that caught and consumed him.

Sucking and tonguing Joshua’s throbbing flesh, Colin rapidly stroked Joshua’s cock, his own desire ignored for the moment as he immersed himself in the taste and feel of Joshua’s body. He dipped his head to draw Joshua’s hot shaft into his mouth slowing the movement of his hand to prolong Joshua’s pleasure, taking his time to caress his lover’s heaving abdomen and chest, rubbing his thumb across already hardened nipples as Joshua moaned, his body thrashing beneath Colin’s hands and mouth.

His tongue caressed the underside of Joshua’s twitching cock, caressing the firm head with delicate softness, then flicking it with hard, fluttering movements that drew a hoarse cry from Joshua’s throat, his hips arching upward in a sudden, desperate thrust.

“God, Colin!” he cried out. “God!! Oh, God! Right there! There!” He stiffened, arching wildly, his hand fisted in Colin’s hair as jolts of incontrollable pleasure convulsed his body.

Colin swallowed the hot flow that poured into his mouth, sucking gently as the frenzied spasms that shook Joshua’s body slowly subsided.

“Oh my god, baby!” Joshua half-sobbed, his chest heaving, collapsing back onto the stairs as Colin’s hand milked the last few drops of come into his waiting mouth. Then, struggling to breathe and rock-hard with desire himself, Colin rested his head on Joshua’s belly. “Jesus,” he gasped out. “Jesus, Josh!”

For a moment neither of them moved. Then Colin felt the hardness of the stairs under his knees and realized that they must be harder yet for Joshua who was sprawled on his back. He grabbed the bannister and hauled himself to his feet, one arm around Joshua’s waist, pulling him up as well. “C’mon, darlin’,” he whispered.

They stumbled to the bedroom, leaning on each other for support, then collapsed onto the bed. Still breathing heavily, Joshua curled his body around Colin’s, his head resting on Colin’s chest. “My god, Colin!” he breathed out, his voice still trembling.

He felt Colin quiver and glanced up to see that he was laughing. “On the stairs?” Colin said, his fingers weaving in Joshua’s hair. “On the fucking stairs, Josh?”

Joshua twisted until he was lying on top of his lover, their bodies pressed together in a achingly, intimate embrace. “Hey,” he breathed against Colin’s ear, “don’t look at me, it was your idea!”

“I know!” Colin said, his hands moving slowly down Joshua’s back. “I absolutely couldn’t wait one more second.” He caught Joshua’s face between his palms and kissed him passionately. “I had to taste you,” Colin murmured, his voice rough-edged. He carded his fingers through the dark, tumbling curls that he loved. “So gorgeous,” he whispered. “So perfect, my beautiful Jewish boy.” His fingers gently traced the finely chiseled bones of Joshua’s angular face. “I should make you wear your Yamaka to bed,” he muttered nuzzling against Joshua’s cheek.

“For God’s sake, why?” Joshua laughed.

“Because you look even more Jewish when you wear it.”

“And that’s a plus in your Irish-Catholic opinion?” he asked, chuckling against Colin’s throat.”

“It definitely is,” Colin murmured. “It’s my favorite thing about you… next to your hair.”

Joshua arched his back, thrusting his pelvis against his lover’s body, feeling the hard heat of Colin’s cock slide against his belly. “Mmmm,” Joshua half-moaned, half-whimpered. “God, that feel so damn good!” He pressed his lips to Colin’s, his tongue sliding into Colin’s mouth, stroking lightly, easily, touching the underside of Colin’s tongue in a wet, moist caress, then flicking gently back and forth against the tip. He heard Colin gasp and felt the hardness pressed to his abdomen twitch, then twitch again.

He shivered and pressed himself against Colin, his fingernails digging into Colin’s muscular shoulders. “God, I love it when I feel your cock throb like that,” he moaned. “I know just what you’re feeling. Drives me fucking insane.” He could feel his own erection rising again, growing harder with every touch, every kiss.

“What I’m feeling is that if not inside you in the next ten seconds I’ll go insane myself,” Colin whispered “God, I want you, Josh. Want you so fucking much!” He arched, thrusting against Joshua, his hands fisted in his dark curls, crushing his lover’s mouth against his own.

Without taking his lips from Colin’s, Joshua fumbled for the lube that he knew lay on the bedside table. Then he lifted himself into a sitting position, straddling Colin’s hips, one hand moving over Colin’s chest and abdomen, the other clutching the lube. “Well, we wouldn’t want that, would we,” he murmured, smiling down at him. “An insane Irishman would be a dangerous thing.”

“You have no idea,” Colin replied, his words catching on a ragged breath. “C’mon, Josh,” he moaned, again arching himself toward Joshua’s waiting hands. “C’mon… for god’s sake…”

Joshua fell forward onto Colin’s chest and kissed his way slowly down his lover’s body, pausing to lick and suckle each nipple, to bite gently at Colin’s muscled chest, then lower yet, sweeping his tongue around and then deep into Colin’s navel, while his lover moaned and thrashed beneath his lips, sucking in air in rapid shuddering gasps.

Joshua smiled and moved lower in their bed until Colin’s rigid erection was right in front of his face. He slicked his hand with lube then looked up at Colin who had raised himself onto one elbow to gaze down at him.

“Like what you see?” Joshua asked.

Colin nodded, breathing heavily, his eyes fixed on Joshua.

Joshua grasped Colin’s erection and lowered his head, engulfing the smooth, hard head of Colin’s engorged manhood. His hand began a slow, languorous stroke while his wet, slippery mouth and tongue bathed the sensitive head, tongue teasing and flicking, moaning in response to Colin’s pleasure-filled cries. He felt Colin’s fingers grip his hair tightly, not pushing, but clenching and unclenching in Joshua’s curls, moaning mindlessly as Joshua tortured the sensitive skin, bathing it in wetness, licking at the pre-cum to further slick Colin’s already slippery cock.

“Josh!” Colin cried, leaning forward to grasp Joshua’s shoulders “Stop!” he cried, grabbing Joshua’s hand. “God, Josh, stop! I’m too close! I’ll come! Want to be inside you! Josh, please!”

Joshua pressed the lube into Colin’s hand and fell onto his back. Within seconds he felt the cool, slippery glide of lubricant being smeared over the puckered opening to his body. “Do it!” he hissed. “Skip the damned fingers! I want you inside me!”

Colin moaned as he eased his heavy erection just barely inside his lover then moaned again as he pushed deeper, encasing himself in Joshua’s body.

Joshua whimpered, clearly feeling some pain, but opened himself, arching toward his lover’s body as Colin slowly pressed into him.

“Oh Jesus,” Colin whispered, leaning on his powerful arms, his head low, sweat from his face and brow falling onto Joshua’s chest. “Oh, Jesus, Josh! Jesus, god, so fucking tight!” Chest heaving, Colin buried himself at the scorching, tight core of his lover’s body. For a moment he was totally still, head lifted, teeth clenched, sucking in air through lungs that burned like fire. “Christ, Josh! Christ, baby, so good!”

Joshua wrapped his legs around Colin’s body, pulling him tighter, deeper inside him. “More!” he ground out through his teeth. “Deeper, Colin! Want more of you!”

“Fuck!” Colin moaned, forcing himself not to move, fearful that he’d come too soon as a riptide of desire surged, taking his breath. He ground himself against Joshua’s ass, pushing his legs higher, pressing into him as deeply as he possibly could. He heard his lover half-scream out a cry so filled with burning desire that Colin’s cock throbbed violently in response.

He pulled out slowly, then thrust into him again and then again, slowly at first, then rocking with greater speed and force, low, hungry moans pouring from his throat. He heard Joshua crying out again and again as his thrusts grew more powerful.

Joshua’s nails raked down Colin’s back, his hips bucking in ardent response, gasping out one word again and again: “More!”

Joshua’s words seeped into Colin’s consciousness through a blood-red haze of desire. “Jesus!” he cried, feeling his heart pounding madly in his chest. “Jesus, Josh…” He gasped his lover’s name again and again, drowning in bliss, lost in a feeling of unity that surpassed anything he had ever known. Sucking in air in breathless spasms, he slowed his pace, finding a rhythm that balanced them on the raw, razor-thin edge between anguished pleasure and the bliss of release. Eventually, though, the need to come consumed him and the rhythm of his thrusts became erratic as he pounded into his lover in a frenzy of longing, uttering harsh, guttural cries with every pump of his hips.

Frantically, he searched along the sweat-drenched plane of their bellies to grasp the throbbing hardness of Joshua’s erection. Their bodies now thrashed in a desperate rhythm, and for a few moments they writhed together wildly, gripping each other, straining to find release, conscious of nothing beyond the power of their need.

Colin’s climax hit him with sudden, violent force, blanking his mind, sending white-hot flashes of light dancing before his eyes. Nearly sobbing in ecstasy, he lost himself completely to huge jolts of pleasure that ignited every cell in his body. “Oh God,” he moaned. “Oh, God! Josh, Josh, I love you so much!” He felt Joshua spasm, crying out Colin’s name in a strangled voice as he spilled himself over Colin’s fist, crying out with every pleasure-filled spasm.

Still trembling, still gasping from after-jolts of pure pleasure, Colin collapsed on top of his lover. For several minutes the room was silent except for their rapid, erratic breaths and soft, whimpering moans. Joshua’s arms and legs were still wrapped around Colin’s body, and Colin pressed him into the mattress with his full weight, deeply reluctant to separate and surrender the unity they now shared.

Finally, he sucked in a long, wavering breath. “My God, Josh.” He heard Joshua draw in a long, sobbing breath and lifted his head to gaze at him. “You, OK, baby?” he asked, bending to nuzzle Joshua’s neck.

“I think so,” Joshua replied in a ragged whisper, his fingers tangling in Colin’s hair, pressing him against his chest. “Oh, my God, Colin, did that really just happen? Did I just come twice in the last twenty minutes?”

“Uh huh,” Colin affirmed, his warm breath caressing the curling hairs on Joshua’s chest. “Did you think you imagined it?”

“I’ve could never have imagined anything that amazing,” Joshua replied.

Colin lifted his head and pressed a soft kiss to Joshua’s swollen lips. “I know,” he whispered. “I know.”

“You’re going to have nail marks,” Joshua murmured, gliding his hand over Colin’s broad shoulder.

Colin gave a tiny shrug. “Don’t care,” he murmured, then nestled against Joshua’s chest, kissing his neck, nuzzling against him. “God, I don’t want to move.”

“Me either,” Joshua whispered. “But I’m afraid we… uh… maybe…”

“Yeah,” Colin muttered, slowly turning to his back, sighing as his softened cock slid from Joshua’s body. “I hate that moment.”

“What moment?”

“That moment when I’m not part of you anymore.” He turned to face his lover, leaning over him on one elbow.

“There is no such moment,” Joshua said, reaching to caress Colin’s cheek. “You’re always part of me, Colin. Always. And I’m always part of you.”

Colin pressed Joshua’s hand to his lips and kissed his palm.

“It’s funny,” Joshua said, his voice a hoarse whisper, “sometimes our lovemaking is just… fun. Sometimes it’s slow and gentle, takes half the night. Sometimes it’s fast and rough.” He smiled and drew Colin down into a long, lingering kiss. “But today…,” Joshua whispered. “Today it was…,” he hesitated, swallowing past the ache in his throat. “Today it was perfection.

“Yeah,” Colin whispered. “Yeah, it was.” He kissed Joshua again, then gently nudged their noses together.

“When we’re like that,” Joshua said, sliding his fingers into Colin’s sandy hair. “So close… so completely melted into each other. The oneness I feel with you is almost…,” he drew in a shaky breath, “… it’s almost too much to bear.”

“But you will,” Colin breathed out, his lips against Joshua’s cheek. “You will won’t you, my beautiful Jewish boy.”

“Yes,” Joshua replied. “For as long as I live… I will.”

Colin kissed him again, then smiled. “Weren’t you cooking something when I walked into the kitchen?”

Joshua laughed. “Yeah, but it kinda’ got left behind.” He nuzzled against Colin’s cheek and chuckled. “Something came up that lured me away.”

Colin snickered. “I’ll say. Came up and stayed up!”

Joshua grunted out a soft moan then stretched, twisting his waist then his shoulders and neck.

“You sore?” Colin asked.

Joshua shot him a disbelieving look. “Sore? Who, me?” He grinned and pecked Colin’s cheek. “Not much. Certainly, not enough to keep me from finishing dinner.”

“Come shower with me,” Colin said, turning to slide out of bed.

“Didn’t you just get out of the shower?” Joshua asked, grinning as he moved to stand beside his lover.

“Yeah, but I seem to need it again,” Colin said, indicating his chest and belly which were coated with the evidence of their lovemaking. He winked then slid his arm around Joshua’s waist and snugged him close to his side. “C’mon. We’ll shower then I’ll help you with dinner.”

“You’ve got a deal,” Joshua replied, and, smiling, they moved together toward the bathroom.


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Colin and Joshua’s Tarot Cards!! A peek into their nature.

An interviewer asked me this: Tell me one thing hardly anyone knows about you.

Well, the first thing that comes to mind is that I spent 15 years reading Tarot cards and doing Astrological horoscopes for a living. Not only that, but I taught the very first online Tarot class in the history of the world and this was loooong before the Internet. It was on a service known as Quantum-Line, or Q-link which was the precursor to AOL. I taught classes there, led full moon meditations. It was great, GREAT fun!

And it was the beginning of what is now, of course, a world-wide phenomenon, the WEB. It was more fun back then because we were involved in ground-breaking activities and making our own rules up as we went… always MY favorite thing to do.

I enjoyed reading Tarot cards. I never saw them as a way to tell fortunes or predict the future. I used them much as a psychologist (Joshua?) would use ink-blots. They’re a great psychological tool, and a lot of fun.

I’ve always seen the Magician as the card meant for authors. The Magician lifts his wand toward the skies to call on inspiration and then uses the tools he has been given to make that inspiration manifest in the world. This is what authors do all the time. Even those authors who have yet to sell even one book have created something magical. They have drawn on the power of the Universe and manifested that power on Earth. I don’t care if it’s a children’s book, a cookbook, or a contemporary gay romance novel like mine… they are all a manifestation of what is most divine within each of us.

 

 

Colin’s card would have to be the Knight of Wands. Wands represents the element of fire, and I don’t think anyone would dispute me when I say that Colin is a man who overflows with fiery dynamism. He is the poster boy for primal energy, inspiration, and just plain life force. He’s enthusiastic and courageous. If you wanted to ‘light a fire under’ someone, Colin would be the perfect guy for the job. And as a Knight of Wands he wields that fire as any gallant Knight would… with courage, passion, and in a way that inspires all of us. Joshua likens Colin to Don Quixote since Colin’s quest in life, at least as Joshua sees it, is to defend the helpless and destroy the wicked. But for Colin it’s more than a quest, it’s the driving force of his life. The Knight of Wands is not someone who could ever back down or take a back seat to anyone. He’s at the forefront of every battle and in the thick of any conflict where his ideals are being challenged. Look at him holding the reins, totally in control of the wildly rearing animal with only one hand. And you can bet he makes sure there’s an audience there watching him do it. The Knight of Wands is a showoff!! He likes attention and applause.

I’ll also add that Colin absolutely sizzles with sexual heat. As Joshua noted from the moment they first met, Colin smolders with an almost dangerously seductive quality that makes him nearly impossible to resist. His is ever the ‘knight in shining armor’ charging off to meet whatever danger or challenge is foolish enough to cross his path.

The Knight of Wands will be your champion. But he can also be the chaotic force that dances through your life, leaving a tangled chaotic mess behind him. He’s a force to reckon with. Just ask Joshua.

I see Joshua as the King of Cups a card symbolized by the element of water. Emotional, healing, and always led by love, this card truly represents the rulership of the heart. But at the same time, he is a King and represents authority and responsibility. In this case, the King can feel responsible for the emotions of others and also be very much in tune with what others are feeling. This emphatic nature helps Joshua understand Colin better than Colin understands himself. During their very first get-together in Love’s Magic Joshua startles Colin by speaking with complete understanding about Colin’s most deeply held secret. See this excerpt:

 

“So,” Colin said, “I have a great heart, huh?”

“One of the greatest, I suspect,” Joshua replied.

Colin looked at him thoughtfully. “I’m afraid I may end up disappointing you, Josh. I’m really not all that noble.”

Joshua frowned and shook his head. “I disagree. There is something innately noble about you, Colin. Something beyond the ordinary. You’re not just a cop doing a job. It’s somehow greater than that.” He drew in a deep breath and when he spoke again his voice was low and warm with meaning. “I was serious when I compared you to Don Quixote. You seem to view your work as a personal mission. A way to right some terrible wrong. Like a knight on a noble quest.”

For a moment there was silence.

Joshua’s eyes dropped. “That’s what I see when I look at you, Colin,” he said. “A knight on a noble quest.” He lifted his head and met Colin’s eyes. “And, yeah. I know I sound like a hopeless romantic.”

Momentarily speechless, Colin’s stared at him, his heart stuttering in his chest, his honeyed-green eyes wide with surprise. Joshua knew no more about Colin than any other causal relationship in his life. And yet, without even realizing it, he had just spoken with eloquence and hair-raising accuracy of the most deeply hidden truth in Colin’s heart. “You’re…” Colin hesitated then drew in a quick breath, “…you’re damned insightful, Joshua.”

Joshua’s empathetic nature makes him a natural as a psychologist. And yet the King of Cups can often find that understanding his own emotions is a much greater challenge than understanding the feelings of others. Joshua suffered severe emotional and physical abuse as a child and the roiling waters of his emotions reflect the pain of those early years. Joshua still struggles to understand and overcome the damage done by those difficult years in his life. The King of Cups can be very introverted. He can internalize his feelings and find it difficult to trust others enough to establish real emotional intimacy.

Joshua’s King of Cups can sit on a very lonely throne. He can isolate himself to the point where it becomes difficult to reach out to others. And he can be totally prepared to flee at a moment’s notice when he suspects betrayal or abandonment may lie ahead. Joshua ran away from Colin after their first fight, convinced that offering his love to his magical Knight of Wands was a hopeless flight of fancy. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in Colin. He didn’t believe in himself.

Colin, as Joshua’s ‘Knight in shining armor’ helps him find healing and peace but only after they both face the inner demons symbolized by their Tarot card. Colin must lay aside his devotion to ‘self-image’ and allow himself to be vulnerable enough to go after Joshua and seek his forgiveness. The cool, healing waters of Joshua’s presence quench the fires of Colin’s inner Knight.

Joshua must forget his childhood fears enough to trust in Colin’s love. He must lay aside the lack of self-worth he was taught in his childhood and come to believe that he deserves the love of the Knight and champion who has swept him off his feet.

Understanding the meaning of their Tarot card gives me insight into the motivation, goals, and needs of my characters! And… it’s a fun way to relax when I’ve spent too much time bending over the computer, writing!!

What Tarot Card do you think best represents YOU?


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The Frat Boy


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The Frat Boy – Janice Jarrell

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The Frat Boy – Janice Jarrell


It happened so fast that Joshua didn’t have time to think. He and Colin were interrogating a member of the Sigma Alpha Fraternity who was accused of assaulting another of his frat brothers during a drunken, drug-infested brawl the previous night. The alleged assailant had spent the night in the campus police jail and was still hung-over and hostile.

Colin, as usual, didn’t even attempt to hide his disgust. “If you can’t handle whatever  you sucked down in order to get as shit-faced as you got last night,” Colin said, his voice heavy with sarcasm, “then maybe you should stick to ginger ale, you fucking lightweight.” He scoffed and leaned back in his chair shaking his head. “Your frat brother had defensive wounds all over him and three of your other brethren are offering to testify against you so you’d be smart to stop lying and start talking.”

The young man in question sneered. “They’re all fuckin’ lying scum. I didn’t hit nobody!”

“Hey, asshole! You picked them, I didn’t!” Colin said, laughing. “And the scuff marks on your knuckles tell a different story. Plus, that I hear tell that you picked up a knife last night. If one of your brethren rats you out on that one…,” he smirked and waved at the prisoner, “…bye-bye, Jakey. You’ll be charged with felonious assault and be expelled on top of being invited to reside in our comfortable digs out back for the next six months.” He grinned gesturing toward the cell area where prisoners were housed. “You’re gonna love our food.”

Joshua had sat quietly listening, but now he leaned forward. “Jake, you’d be a lot better off to just tell the truth. A deal might still be possible if you cooperate with Sergeant Campbell.”

“Cooperate with McFuck?” Jake spat out scornfully tilting his head toward Colin. “Fuck him. And fuck you too!”

Joshua and Colin exchanged a glance and Colin shrugged. “Fine by me,” he said, getting to his feet. “You keep an eye on tough-guy here,” he continued, jerking his thumb toward the prisoner, “while I get the rest of his paperwork.” He sneered and moved toward the door. “We’ll see how tough he is after a few months living out back.”

As Colin left, Joshua once again leaned toward Jake. “You still have a chance to save your education,” Joshua told him. “Lose the attitude and cooperate with campus police. You may think you sound like a tough guy but believe me when I tell you, it would take a lot more than you to impress Sergeant Campbell.”

“Is that right,” Jake sneered, leaning toward Joshua. “Well, what does it take to impress you, asshole?” He leapt across the table and grabbed Joshua by the throat, knocking Joshua’s chair over backwards, landing them both in a pile in front of the door. For a moment the two men struggled then Joshua broke free. He clambered to his feet and spun toward Jake just as Colin burst through the door.

As Colin stared, Joshua hit Jake with a quick one-two punch knocking him flat on his back where he lay on the floor… out cold. Colin called a team of officers to move Jake to the infirmary. “Once he’s checked out, put him back in lockup,” Colin instructed as they dragged the semi-conscious Jake out the door. Then he turned to Joshua who was standing quietly beside him. “Are you alright?” he asked, picking Joshua’s chair up and guiding him into it.

Joshua shrugged and sat down, rubbing his knuckles. “I’m fine.”

“What the hell was that?” Colin said, laughing. “Jesus, Josh, I had no idea you were such a badass.”

“Jab – right cross,” Joshua said, glancing up at him. “Basic one-two punch. Any boxer can do it in their sleep?”

“You’re a boxer?”

“Golden Gloves,” Joshua said, brushing a hand over his pants to clean the floor’s dirt off them. “Illinois state champ three years running.”

“You’re fucking kidding me!”

Joshua met his eyes and smiled. “Why would I kid about a thing like that? Look it up, Colin. It’s on the web.”

Colin regarded him with amazed interest. “Impressive! I just never thought you…” he huffed out a surprised breath and shook his head. “You don’t seem the type!”

“And what type is that?” Joshua asked.

“A fighter,” Colin told him. He half-sat on the table in front of Joshua’s chair. “You don’t seem like a fighter.”

“I seem more like a lover?” Joshua asked with a quick grin.

Colin reared back a bit and cocked an eyebrow. “You know the answer to that one, Josh,” he murmured, his voice low and rumbly in his throat.

Joshua lowered his eyes, blushing in spite of himself at the sex-charged tone of Colin’s voice. “Yeah,” he half-stammered. “I guess I do.”

Sensing his discomfort Colin bent over him, grinning. “What’s the matter, Josh?”

“Colin. Stop.”

“Why? What did I do?” Colin took a quick look around him then leaned close enough to murmur into Joshua’s ear. “Pretty fucking hot, seeing you cold-cock that little bastard. I want to jump you right here and now.”

“Colin,” Joshua half moaned. “We’re at work. C’mon, man, don’t do this.” He couldn’t meet Colin’s eyes. The big Irishman had him. Colin knew exactly what he was doing and he was obviously loving every second of it. He heard Colin chuckle, then gasped as the slightest whisper of fingers skated across the back of his neck, sending goosebumps cascading over his entire body.

“Dammit, Colin, that’s just not fair,” Joshua said. He surged to his feet and backed toward the door, his breathing erratic. “I… I’m going back to my office.”

“You can’t,” Colin said, moving slowly toward him. “We have another appointment in forty-five minutes.” His gaze dropped to Joshua’s crotch and his eyebrows lifted, then his head came up and their eyes locked. “I have a better idea,” he murmured. “And judging from the size of that hardon I see in your pants, I suspect it’s an idea you’re gonna like.”

“Colin…,”

Colin moved closer and both hands lifted to rest on Joshua’s shoulders, moving him backwards until his back hit the door and they were out of view of the adjoining office. “Why don’t we just…,” Colin murmured, “… go to my place and I’ll take care of that hardon for you. Hmm?” One hand dropped from Joshua’s shoulder and cupped his firm erection, rubbing softly.

“Are you crazy?” Joshua whispered. “What if Lenny walks in here?”

Colin shrugged. “He knows I’m gay and he knows you’re hot. Do you think he’d die of shock?” He grinned and continued his maddingly slow, circular palming of Joshua’s hardening cock. “C’mon Josh. Are you gonna to try to tell me you don’t want to?”

“No,” Joshua replied. “Not much point to that is there.” He sighed and shoved Colin’s hand away. “OK. We’ll go to your place.”

“Good thing it’s close by,” Colin said, still grinning. “Because from what I can feel we don’t have much time.”

“I’ll manage to hold on ’til we get there,” Joshua assured him. “God, you’re a cocky bastard!”

“Well put,” Colin told him, opening the door and gesturing for Joshua to go out ahead of him. “Now come on. Because whether you realize it or not I’m just as ready as you are. You need to knock somebody out more often because it really gets me hot.”

“Well, if that’s what it takes to get you hot you’re in big trouble because I don’t hit people unless they hit me first.” He shouldered past Colin and moved quickly down the hallway toward the exit, hoping no one noticed the sizable erection he still sported in his pants.

Colin shrugged and guided Joshua outside, one hand on his shoulder. “You have other talents.”

It took less than five minutes for them to reach Colin’s bachelor apartment and less time than that for them to toss their clothes aside and fall onto Colin’s bed.

“So fucking hot!” Colin mumbled as he ravaged Joshua’s neck, biting and sucking his smooth, olive skin.

Joshua’s breath caught in his throat. “God, Colin!” He buried his fingers in Colin’s thick, sandy curls and held on tight as Colin began a slow torturous slide down his body, caressing every inch of skin he could reach with his hands, lips, tongue and teeth while Joshua gasped and moaned above him.

“Col… ohhh… fu…,” Joshua choked out as Colin’s lips closed over the head of his cock, peppering it with hard, quick licks that nearly caused Joshua’s brain to explode.

Colin lifted his head and grinned while reaching to one side to grab the lube. “Problem there, bud?”

“No… ju…just… don’t…” Joshua panted out.

“Gotcha,” Colin muttered, squirting a huge dollop of lubricant into his hand. Within seconds that amazingly talented mouth had returned to Joshua’s throbbing dick and was joined by an equally talented hand which stroked Joshua’s erection briefly, then dived lower to caress every inch of sensitive skin he could reach, starting with a slippery glide over his balls, then moving further back to tease and finger his asshole.

Colin wasn’t adept at deep-throating, but he had developed a tonguing technique that was second to none. It swirled and flicked over Joshua’s erection until he was thrashing and whimpering with desire and as hard as stone beneath Colin’s seeking lips.

Colin slowly inserted his middle finger into Joshua’s body still sucking and licking his saliva slick cock, moaning as Joshua’s body thrust forward to meet his fingers, loving his frenzied cries.

“Colin!” Joshua gasped. “Wait! Wait!” His fingers clenched around Colin’s hair, tugging until Colin lifted his flushed face from between Joshua’s legs. “Turn around,” Joshua grated out, almost panting for every breath. “Turn around! Let me… let me…,”

Colin shook his head. “No time now,” he whispered. “Today you get a freebie. We’ll worry about me later.” He grinned up into Joshua’s sweat-drenched face. “Enjoy it,” he added before ducking his head and once again slipping his mouth around the head of Joshua’s rigid shaft. For a moment his tongue swirled in perfect rhythm with the finger still moving in Joshua’s body brushing against his prostate causing Joshua to nearly convulse with pleasure.

Hearing his incoherent cries, Colin slid his finger from Joshua’s body and wrapped his hand around Joshua’s cock, moving it in a lightning fast stroke, his lips and tongue still torturing and bathing the hyper-sensitive skin, until he felt Joshua buck beneath him with a wild cry and pulse in his mouth. Two… three… four times Joshua convulsed as he came again and again, his cries finally dissolving into whimpering moans, his body slowly calming into gasps and shudders of ecstasy.

Breathing heavily himself, Colin rested his hot face against Joshua’s abdomen, feeling the erratic rise and fall as Joshua sucked in short, trembling breaths one after the other.

“God in heaven, Colin!” he gasped out finally. “What the fuck…,”

Colin lifted his face and smiled up at him. “I told you. Seeing you cold-cock that fucking frat boy got me hot!”

Joshua reached for him and drew him up the bed until Colin’s head rested on his shoulder. “My god, Colin, you damn near killed me.”

Colin laughed softly and turned to kiss Joshua’s cheek. “You’d better go shower, bud. We have an appointment in…,” he checked his watch, “… exactly fifteen minutes.”

Joshua turned and slid his leg over Colin’s hip. “Can’t we be late? Or cancel? Is the meeting that important?”

Colin chuckled, shaking his head. “YOU?” he said, in pretend amazement. “Skipping out on work? YOU?”

Joshua sighed and turned away, preparing to slide out of bed. “OK, fine. I’ll go shower. You get dressed.”

Still snickering, Colin reached for his phone. As he did he grabbed Joshua’s arm and hauled him back into bed beside him. “Lenny? Josh and I aren’t going to make that 5:00 appointment with Jake Armster’s frat brothers. Tell them to come back tomorrow. Tell them we got… ummm…,” he paused and winked at Joshua. “Tell them we got tied up.” He listened for a moment, then snickered. “Just never you mind. What we’re doing is none of your fucking business.” He was silent for another moment then laughed out loud. “We will!” He tossed the phone to the bedside table and tugged Joshua closer.

“We will… what?” Joshua asked, leaning heavily against Colin’s broad chest.

“Have fun!” Colin replied, his arms tightening around Joshua’s body. “He said ‘have fun’ and I said ‘we will’!” He pressed his lips to Joshua’s, their tongues meeting in a moist caress. “You ready to have some fun?”

Joshua pushed Colin to his back. “Way ahead of you, Irish.” For a moment he sprawled on top of him then began a slow glide down the length of his body, nibbling and licking all the way.

Colin moaned, his fingers buried in Joshua’s raven curls. “Jesus! Remind me tomorrow to thank that fucking frat boy!”


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Straight women writing gay romance… and the gay men who love them.

I’m a straight woman who writes gay romance. I’ve been writing it almost since I was able to write. I was writing it before I knew what a homosexual was or what they did. I wasn’t writing sex scenes. I was writing love scenes. Because that’s what I write about. Love.

I had not one fucking clue what guys did in bed together. Trust me, as young as I was when I first began fantasizing about men loving men I didn’t have one fucking clue what ANYONE did in bed together, male/male, female/female/ male/female or any other combination you could imagine. I was an ignorant country girl who knew nothing about sex. I just know I loved the idea of two guys loving each other.

Fast forward to the days after I discovered that I wasn’t the only one who felt this way… (See my previous post ‘The Longest Journey’) … the days when I first began writing slash fan fiction. At that time I wrote in the toughest slash fiction genre in existance. I wrote RPF slash.

For anyone who doesn’t know, RPF slash means writing ‘real person’ slash. Slash fiction where the characters are real, living human beings. For reference simply type ‘J2 slash’ into Google and you’ll have forty-seven trillion examples of what I mean.

In those days writing RPF was frowned upon, even by other writers of slash fiction and the small group of us who wrote in that genre labored under the distinct impression that we were the proverbial red-headed stepchild. We were told in no uncertain terms that we were an embarrassment to the rest of the slash writing community. We were encouraged to both hide our heads in shame and hide our stories in dark corners where no decent writer of slash fiction would ever have to look at them. My response to their ravings was to say ‘fuck it’ and go on writing my stories.

Dealing with all of this crap was a huge pain in the butt back then, particularly in the Lord of the Rings slash fandom. When the movies first came out, focus on the male actors was damn near obsessive and the RPF slash writers who wrote them were under constant attack for doing so. At one point I even received a death-threat.

Dealing with all this left me very little time or emotional energy left to consider whether or not I should be writing gay fiction as a straight woman. I just wrote it and in the beginning I confess that I wrote it poorly. In the beginning my characters weren’t all that believable. And I feel sure that if anyone possessing real knowledge of what two men do in bed together had read my early slash stories, they would have immediately run off in search of an insulin injection. The men in my stories were femmy and unrealistic. The sex scenes… ditto.

I was still an ignorant farm girl who didn’t know what she was doing and knew even less about the reality of M/M relationships. I doubt if I’d ever, to my knowledge, actually met a gay man. All I knew was what I loved. And even back then I stove with every fiber of my being to value the love in my stories above sex… important though it is and as much as I love writing it.

But I was also smart enough to realize how little I knew about the reality of MM relationships and I because I loved writing gay romance and because I loved my characters and wanted them to be as good as I could possibly make them, I went in search of the truth… or at least what truth was available back then.

I was fortunate, because there was a wonderful, amazing, gay man named Minotaur. He attended every slash fiction conference out there (not many at the time) and offered panels specifically designed to teach writers of slash fiction the reality of MM relationships, particularly when it comes to what happens in bed.

His blog (which is STILL up and available) discussed every single aspect of male/male sex complete with illustrations. He has a HUGE question and answer section which provides information on every aspect of the M/M sexual relationship. Here is one example:

Dramatic asks,

I was wondering, when I guy has sex the first time and he’s on the bottom, how much would it hurt when the other man enters him? Would it tear skin, cause bleeding at all? Who would get the orgasm first, the one on top or bottom? I suppose top, but…

Dear Dramatic,

The pain a guy feels the first time he bottoms depends on a bunch of factors. How comfortable is he with the idea of getting fucked? How comfortable is he with the other guy? How scared is he? How horny? How drunk? All these, and more, will have a profound effect on how much pain he feels – if any.

If he’s comfortable, and turned on, and relaxed, he may feel no pain at all. If he’s tense, or nervous, or conflicted about the act, he may feel too much pain to complete the act.

It’s not like a woman’s first time – where the hymen gets broken. There is no *physical* reason why a guy can’t enjoy his first experience of anal sex – it’s mostly psychological. The more tense a guy is, the less his anal sphincter muscles will be able to relax and allow penetration. The more relaxed he is, the more control he’ll have over his own body, and the easier it will be.

As for the orgasm, there’s no way to tell who will pop first. It depends on what’s going on. Is the bottom enjoying himself? Is the top prone to pop quickly, or can he last all night? Too many factors to predict with any accuracy

— Minotaur

His answers were straight-forward, blunt, graphic, to the point, and pulled no punches. He was over-the-top about the importance of safe sex and spoke of it constantly. He was a mentor to every slash writer of my generation and his website is STILL one of the most valuable resources a writer of gay romance can find.

So I make no apologies for being a straight woman writing gay romance. I had a great mentor, and one of the main things he taught me was to never close my mind to any situation that develops between two human beings no matter what their gender or sexual orientation.

Sadly, Minotaur died in 2009 of a massive heart attack, but his wisdom and journal lives on in perpetuity. I feel sure that slash writers and gay romance writers STILL visit his website. I also feel sure that any writer of gay fiction who goes to Minotaur’s website will learn something valuable about their genre and be a better writer for having visited. I’m just grateful that he was around when I first started to write slash fiction.

What I love most about him is that he valued the women who were trying to articulate their love of gay romance and gay fiction. He valued us enough to become our teacher and to be certain we had all the knowledge we needed in order to write our genre with truth and authority.

I still miss him. I still value him. I still feel grateful to him. And I still honor him for taking all of us under his wing.

Go visit Minotaur’s Website! You’ll be glad you did.


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My favorite writing tool!

I was asked what tool I use that makes the writing process go more easily and efficiently, and my answer to that question would have to be Scrivener. I’m not the world’s most organized person and my writing process was sometimes scattered and chaotic. Scrivener helped me organize my thoughts and keep everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, connected with my writing project in one, well-ordered place.

Each of my chapters has it’s own folder and underneath that chapter I can use the corkboard feature to post any snippet of thought or sudden flash of insight I might have about where this chapter should lead. Under the chapter called Changes I’ve got two notes (which I’m not going to show you yet… ). Ideas that I can incorporate into that chapter at a later date. Helps me keep my thoughts organized. I can move them around and reorder them if the action sequence needs to be changed, and along with it’s hefty outlining component, it is a great brainstorming tool.

I keep lots and lots of reference material in my Scrivener file for every book I write. I have a folder for research, , one for characters, one for places, one for cuts, and one which stores character sheet templates. I love the folder for cuts. It allows me to remove segments of a chapter which no longer seem to fit and store the scene in the ‘cuts’ folder in case I decide use it at a later date in a different chapter.
Scrivener will compile your entire work into any number of formats from ebook to PDF and it offers many options for formatting your material. It even inserts front material and cover images.

Scrivener allows you to create, organize, and edit, all in one piece of software with every single piece of information you might need all right there at your fingertips. You get the functions of a word processor with the added benefit of the organizational tools and information a writer might need, all in the same software.

Scrivener also lets you label any component in your Scrivener file in any color you choose. The chapters marked in purple, for instance, are completed chapters while the ones labeled in blue are still in the hands of my editor.

Scrivener, quite simply, handles everything. It keeps all the information pertinent to your ongoing work in one place. You can import and store everything in one convenient file. I’m not beginning to cover all the functions which Scrivener provides. I encourage you to download it for yourself and give it a try. Scrivener is available for both Mac and Windows and comes with a thirty-day trial period which allows you plenty of time to discover if it’s the right tool for you.

I couldn’t get along without it and I think that once you’ve tried it, you’ll feel the same way.

You can download Scrivener here!


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No Big Deal – A Colin story.


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Colin sat at the bar leaning forward over his Murphey’s Irish Stout, his broad shoulders hunched. A noisy ruckus suddenly erupted from the boys hanging out at the piano-bar and Colin shot a glare in their direction. “Pipe down, you assholes! I’m trying to think!”

“Awww, Colin, baby,” one of them cried, “c’mon over here and let me help you.”

“Yeah, right, Leon,” Colin grumbled. He scowled and picked up his stout then maneuvered his way to the rear of the pub where he fell into a chair in a darkened corner. He took a long pull on his beer then sat staring at the chocolate-colored liquid watching bubbles glide toward the frothy top.

“You blowing off your boyfriends tonight?” a cheerful voice asked.

“Boyfriends!” Colin scoffed. He gestured to a chair and watched as his friend took the seat next to him. “You know better, Jeff.”

Jeff Kerry laughed. “Well, hell, Colin, you know you’re their dream lover. Give those poor boys a break why don’t you? Take one of them home tonight.”

“Fat fucking chance of that!” Colin said. “I’d rather sleep alone… or with you.” He grinned at Kerry and gave him a mischievous winked.

“Speaking of fat chances! And hey! Where’s your talk, dark, handsome companion? I haven’t seen him for a couple weeks.”

Colin’s smile faded. “He’s no big deal, just a guy I know from work.”

“Seemed like a big deal to me! You brought him here at least three times. That’s unprecedented. I’ve never known you to bring a guy here more than once.”

Colin scowled at Jeff Kerry, who returned his glare without expression. “Jeff, can we talk seriously for a minute? I mean without the bullshit?”

“About your tall, dark, handsome boyfriend?”

“Would you please stop saying that? I don’t have boyfriends and you fucking well know it!”

“I know you don’t want to have boyfriends, Colin. You don’t want any relationship that comes with strings attached.” He leaned closer to Colin. “But maybe Mr. Tall-Dark-Handsome is… different?”

“His name is Joshua,” Colin said, his forehead furrowing. “Josh.”

Jeff shot him a look. There was a quality in Colin’s voice when he said Joshua’s name that Jeff had never heard before. A tenderness completely alien to this handsome, fiercely independent Irishman. “Where is he?” Jeff asked with no hint of his usual mockery.

“He won’t see me anymore. He says he can’t.”

“Can’t what?” Can’t come to McCafferty’s?”

“Can’t have a casual relationship,” Colin muttered. “Can’t be just… friends.

“Friends,” Jeff said. “And by that I assume you mean the fuck-um-and-leave-um kind of friendship you usually indulge in?”

Colin glared at Jeff who shrugged and lifted his own stout in a toast. “Here’s to Josh!” he said, “who successfully avoided a broken heart by refusing to play Colin Campbell’s game.”

“And what game would that be?”

“The fuck-um-and-leave-um game.”

“It’s not a game, Jeff. These guys all know how I roll. No one here is under any illusions about me. I’m dead honest with all of them just like I was with Josh.” He frowned down at his drink. “I didn’t want to hurt him.”

“Does this guy actually mean something to you, Colin?”

“Christ, I don’t know, Jeff!” He hissed out a frustrated breath. “I don’t know what to make of Josh. I don’t know how to deal with him. We see each other almost every day at work and he’s as cool and calm as mountain lake even though I know he’s…” Colin’s upper lip drew back over his teeth. “I know he’s upset because we’re not seeing each other. I know it! But he just stares at me with those damned brown eyes and doesn’t say a fucking word! It’s driving me nuts!”

“He refused you.”

“Yeah.”

“And normally you wouldn’t give a damn.”

“Yeah.”

“But this time you do.”

Colin’s honeyed-green eyes met Jeff’s blue ones. “Yeah.”

“And he isn’t behaving the way your discards normally behave.”

“You said wouldn’t fuck around!” Colin complained.

“Actually, I didn’t.”

“He looks at me like… I mean his eyes seem…” Colin shook his head. “I don’t get it! I know he cares! He said he did… more or less. But he won’t see me. Won’t even return my messages unless they’re about work.”

“Well, I’ll be go-to-fucking-hell,” Jeff breathed out, his eyes wide with amazement.

“Aw, Christ, Jeff, don’t start!”

Jeff grabbed Colin’s arm. “Irish, for god’s sake don’t be a fool! Go after this guy. If he’s managed to get YOU on his hook he must be a combination of Christian Grey and Thor, God of Thunder!”

“He’s a Jewish Psychologist,” Colin said, his fingers sliding into his sandy, tousled hair. “A Title IX Consultant at the university. He’s…” Colin winced a shrug, “… he’s no big deal.”

Jeff bent over the table laughing.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, knock it off!”

“Colin, stop being a jerk. Swallow all that stubborn Irish pride you’re choking to death on. Tell him you’re sorry you’ve been a horse’s ass then tell him how you feel!”

“I don’t KNOW how I feel!”

Kerry studied him for a moment. “You know what? I believe you. You’ve grown so accustomed to the easy pick-up and even easier farewell that you don’t recognize real feelings anymore even when you’re drowning in them.”

“I’m not drowning in anything.”

“Then why, pray tell, are you sitting here alone, scowling and nursing your stout instead of picking off ‘pretty boys’ one by one.”

“Jeff, despite my reputation around this pub as a big-time fucker-of-men, a reputation which I do everything in my considerable power to promote, by the way, I actually fuck around with damned few guys here and none of the piano-bar boys.”

“I know that. But when you do, Colin, it’s always on the cheap. No feelings. No strings.”

Colin stared at him.

“Josh obviously comes with strings.”

Colin polished off his stout in one long pull then surged to his feet, snagging his leather jacket with one finger as he rose. “Well, I don’t.”


Want sneak peeks at new Janice Jarrell projects? How about deleted scenes, alternate endings, early drafts, book release details, and exclusive giveaways? Join our VIP group, Jan’s Jazzy Jammers, for a behind the scenes look at all of this and more!


Reach me at: jjarrell@lovesmagic.online
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