The aftermath of Relevant Law

THE AFTERMATH OF RELEVANT LAW

A couple of reviews have complained because Relevant Law was so long. One of them bitched that the conclusion happened at the 60% mark while another complained that it suffered from a need for paring down.

But for me, the ‘climax’ of Relevant Law doesn’t happen when Colin and the rest of Lenny’s team rescue Joshua from the hands of his kidnapper. It could have ended there, but was that really the end of the story? I’ve known people who suffered the kind of trauma that Colin and Joshua suffered in Relevant Law. I know people who’ve suffered the kind of trauma they suffered in Love’s Trials. And the story does NOT end at the 60% mark. In fact, that’s probably closer to the beginning than the end.

One doesn’t simply walk away from that kind of trauma with a big smile on their kisser. That kind of trauma does DAMAGE. It leaves scars which are not physically visible. It triggers pain from their past that moves forward with them into their future. I follow them down the road AFTER Joshua is rescued so that we can see how these two men handle that aftermath.

Colin handles it at first by trying to control everything around him. He relives the moment when he didn’t know if his beloved husband was dead or alive in everything Joshua says and does. He is stuck in that one moment in time and can’t move forward. He is massively overprotective and reluctant to allow Joshua engage with a world he now believes is threatening to destroy the very foundations of his existence. It takes love, understanding, and a lot of therapy for him to come to terms with the feelings awakened within him on that terrible day. But eventually he does.

Joshua is also traumatized by his experience. Page’s assault triggers memories and pain from the a childhood marred by both physical and emotional abuse. He both longs for Colin’s strength and protection and resents him for demonstrating those same qualities. He blames himself for not standing up to Page, for not fighting back when, in fact, doing so would have surely gotten him killed. And again, with love, understanding, and therapy he begins to find the healing he needs.

So for me the story doesn’t end with the rescue. There is a lot more going on in connection with this experience. My interest moves beyond just the facts of Joshua’s abduction, assault, and rescue. I also care about the aftermath. I care about how these two men react to their experience. I care about how they feel about it and how they react to those feelings. I care about how they express the pain they suffer because of this experience. I care about how they come to understand their pain and find healing from it.

I care about the experience as a whole, not just the dramatic act, but the not-so-dramatic, but even more important, consequences. And I think my readers care too.

What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve


They were approaching a New Year’s Eve unlike any other. Parties were out of the question, as was the chance to join their friends at McCafferty’s for a repeat of last year’s joyous New Year’s Eve celebration.

This was the year of COVID-19 and get togethers of any kind were something Colin would not even discuss, let alone consider. “We’re not sticking our noses outside that door for anything that’s not absolutely necessary,” he told Joshua as he sat at their kitchen table munching toast. “We can Zoom David and Nate at some point just to see how they’re doing. But you and I are staying home!”

Joshua nodded but didn’t respond. He stood staring out the kitchen window that led to their small backyard, both hands resting on the sink.

“You don’t want to go out do you, Josh?”

“Good god, no,” Joshua said, turning to face his husband. “It’s blind luck that we haven’t caught this horrible bug already. And this close to a vaccine… there’s no way I’m taking any chances.” His head dropped and for a moment he stared silently at the floor. “But it’s sad.”

“Well…,” Colin drawled out. “I tend to agree but…,” He paused and grinned at Joshua, flashing his deep dimples. “I promise to make your New Year’s Eve uhhhh…,” he smirked and arched an eyebrow, “… memorable.”

“This whole year has been memorable.”

“But not memorable for the right reasons,” Colin grumbled. “And not nearly as memorable as I plan to make your New Year’s Eve.”

Joshua lifted his head and smiled. “Of that I have absolutely no doubt.” He stepped to the table and sat down next to Colin. “And I’m totally happy to spend New Year’s Eve with you, just the two of us together. In fact, I prefer it. But I know you like celebrating with our friends.”

“I’m happy celebrating with you,” Colin said. He leaned toward Joshua and reached to take his hand. “But this has been a shit year,” he said. “I’ll be glad to see it end. And you’re right. Given our work with the public, plus David and Nate catching this goddamn thing, we’re lucky we got through it unscathed.”

“What was your best moment this year?”

Colin paused, considering, then scowled. “Not many come to mind,” he muttered. “We’ve spent so much time sitting in front of the TV that my eyes have started to glaze over.” He shot a glance at Joshua. “It’s all merged into one long, unending stream.” He scowled down at their joined hands. “Supernatural has started to melt into NCIS until I can’t tell the difference between Dean Winchester and Special Agent Gibbs.” He sighed and shifted in his chair. “We aren’t getting out all that much, and when we are, we’re usually running errands for David and Nate or dashing to the store at five in the morning to beat the mask-less assholes to the last roll of toilet paper.”

Joshua’s lips curved in a hint of a smile. “Now you know damned well that people are masking up a lot more these days. And we’ve got enough toilet paper in the pantry to last ‘til the next pandemic. How much did you think we’d need anyway? You must have bought out every store in Charlottesville.”

“Well, I don’t know about you, but the whole world knows that I’m full of shit!”

“Stop it.”

“Do you have a favorite moment from this past year?”

“I do.”

“Well for god’s sake don’t keep it to yourself!”

Joshua raised their joined hands to his lips and pressed a kiss to Colin’s knuckles. “We’re standing in David and Nate’s front yard,” he began. “Davy is standing in the bedroom window in his bathrobe with Nate beside him.” His eyes shifted to meet Colin’s, smiling in loving homage. “And you, my yedid, are standing in the snowy grass below with both hands jammed into your jacket pockets, singing ‘Fields of Athenry’ to them in the most beautiful voice I have ever heard.”

Colin ducked his head and flushed. “C’mon, Josh.”

“You asked for my favorite moment and I gave it to you.”

“Well, thanks, babe. I appreciate it.”

“What’s more important is that David appreciated it. I’d bet it’s his favorite moment of the year too.”

Colin shrugged, brushing off the compliment.

“C’mon,” Joshua encouraged. “You can’t think of one good moment from this year? Not even getting your law degree?”

“Graduating in an online Zoom ceremony while sitting in our living room sort of sucked the ‘special’ out of it.”

“Not for me! Colin Michael Campbell: Juris Doctorate.”

“Campbell-Abrams,” Colin corrected. “Fat lot of good it’s done me. Can’t even take the bar exam ‘til all this COVID shit is over.”

“Gives you more time to study.”

“Humph,” Colin grunted. “Lucky me.”

“C’mon, baby,” Joshua begged, leaning toward him. “There has to be one moment this year that made you happy.”

“Josh, there were a lot of moments this year that made me happy. Being with you here in our home always makes me happy. Being healthy enough to help our friends through COVID made me happy.”

He slumped in his chair and stared down at the table. “I don’t mean to sound all whiney, bud. You’re right. We’ve been incredibly lucky this year. But damn!! I wanted to dance with you on New Year’s Eve. I wanted to dress up in our fancy duds and drink champagne and kiss you at midnight and sing ‘Auld Lang Syne’.” He lifted his head, his face screwed into a self-deprecating grimace. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s wonderful that you want that. I want it too.” He tightened his hold on Colin’s hand. “But Irish, we have a lifetime of New Year’s Eves ahead of us.”

Colin said nothing. His head dropped and he gazed at Joshua through lowered lashes.

“Let’s make it a great New Year’s Eve,” Joshua begged. He leaned toward Colin and batted his eyes. “I’ll get some Sufganiyot,” he promised, in a lilting voice.

“Offering the baby a cookie so he’ll stop pouting?” Colin asked.

“Offering my husband a treat so he’ll cheer up,” Joshua corrected.

“I’m not sure there are that many jellied doughnuts in all of Charlottesville.”

“We’ll see.”

On New Year’s Eve Joshua cooked Colin’s favorite Jewish dish, Cous-Cous Royale, and topped it off with plenty of the deep-fried Sufganiyot Colin loved. Colin responded with compliments and a show of good cheer, but Joshua could tell he was still brooding over his lost hopes for their New Year’s Eve celebration.

They spent that evening watching TV in their underwear. Joshua tucked a warm blanket around them and snuggled against Colin’s side, laughing every time Colin stretched out his hand to pluck yet another jellied doughnut from the nearby platter. “You keep this up and you’ll have to start the new year with a diet!” But at a quarter after eleven, he rose and ambled toward the stairs. “Be right back.”

Colin nodded, his attention riveted to the TV screen, but when twenty minutes passed and Joshua hadn’t reappeared, he strode to the bottom of the steps and called: “Josh, getting close to midnight! What’re you doing?”

“Hang on,” Joshua called down, then seconds later he appeared at the top of the stairs. He was wearing the dark suit he wore on their wedding day. In his hands he carried what looked like a champagne bottle, and Colin’s black wedding-day suit. He descended the stairs and shoved the clothing into Colin’s hands “Get dressed,” he instructed, “while I start the music and put this on ice.”

Colin laughed. “Do I have to wear the tie?”

“No. Just the suit. You can put it on over your T-shirt if you like.”

Colin laughed again and slid his arms into a white dress shirt. “Nope. I’ll forgo the tie. I might even forgo the socks and shoes. But I’ll put on the shirt and suit.” He buttoned the shirt and drew on the suit pants and jacket. Then, as he tucked the shirt in, he watched Joshua heap ice around the champagne bucket and grab two glasses. “Think you’re pretty clever don’t you?” Colin accused, grinning.

Joshua turned to face him and pulled his cellphone from his pocket. “Clever enough to have created a Spotify playlist of our favorite songs.” He propped the phone on their mantle and as the first soft notes of ‘We Can Last Forever’ floated out over the room he held out his arms to his husband. “Care to dance, hot stuff?”

Colin took a step forward and wrapped Joshua in his arms. They danced with a slow, swaying motion, at times scarcely moving, at others spinning in dizzying circles as Colin twirled them around the room. Joshua’s eyes lifted and met his husband’s and he saw Colin smile, his emerald-green eyes glowing with a warmth and love that nearly took Joshua’s breath. His fingers slid into Colin’s sandy hair and clenched there as Colin bent and kissed him, molding their mouths together in a deep, sensual merging that Joshua wished could last forever.

Moments before midnight, Colin lifted Joshua’s chin and kissed him again. “Thank you, my love, my life,” he whispered. “You’ve made this New Year’s Eve more special than I would have believed possible.”

Joshua’s phone suddenly chimed out the ringtone that signaled that the new year had arrived, and Colin once again took his husband in his arms and as they danced, he crooned in his ear:

Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And days of auld lang syne?

 

For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne
We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne

 

As always, his voice was rich and filled with the emotion of the moment and Joshua felt his eyes burn with tears of love and gratitude. “Thank you,” he whispered against Colin’s ear. They stood for a moment after the song ended, staring into each other’s eyes, then Colin bent and kissed him again.

“Are you kidding? You’re the one provided the perfect New Year’s Eve even after I was a whiney little bitch about it!”

“Champagne?” Joshua offered, his fingers moving to caress Colin’s cheek.

“Love it,” Colin replied, leading Joshua to where the sparkling wine was waiting. Joshua filled their glasses, then Colin lifted his in salute. “To you, my sweet Jewish boy. And to every New Year’s Eve we’ll share for the rest of our lives.”

Joshua lifted his glass and touched it to Colin’s. “To us, my love. And to every adventure that awaits us in the year ahead.”

After they had sipped, Colin took Joshua’s glass and sat it alongside his on their liquor cabinet. “C’mon,” he murmured, his strong arm wrapped once more around Joshua’s waist. “I’m not done dancing. And then I do believe I promised you a memorable New Year’s Eve.” He tightened his arm and pressed Joshua’s body hard against his own. “And that’s one New Year’s resolution I have every intention of keeping.”

“Happy New Year, my beautiful magic man,” Joshua whispered. “Ani Ohev Otcha.”

“Happy New Year, my beautiful Jewish love,” Colin whispered in return. “Ta`mo chori istigh ionat.”

Halloween – Between the Sheets! A Colin and Josh Halloween story!

Joshua clutched Colin’s shoulders in an iron grip. “Colin! Oh fuck! God!” He desperately gulped down air as his orgasm repeatedly ripped through him, jolting every nerve ending, and sending electric thrills of heart-pounding bliss throughout his body.

“Josh,” Colin moaned, shuddering in a mindless ecstasy that matched Joshua’s in its intensity. “Oh, God, baby, so good. So perfect.”

For a long time they lay together, gasping for breath, feeling each other slowly relaxing, molded against each other’s hot, sweaty body.

“Jesus, Colin,” Joshua murmured finally, “that was fucking incredible! You been practicing or something?”

Colin chuckled, burying his face against the damp skin of Joshua’s throat. “All I do is get in bed with you and let nature take its course.”

Joshua gave a low moan as Colin’s now-flaccid cock slid slowly out of his body, and then he wriggled a bit to ease the pressure of Colin’s weight.

“Am I too heavy, babe? I’ll move.”

“No. Not yet.” He tightened his arms around Colin’s neck, holding him close, shutting his eyes to better savor the warm, comforting weight of Colin’s body. He smiled and slid his fingers through Colin’s unruly curls, wriggling again. “I like how you feel, but, OK. Now you can move. I need to cool off.”

Colin slid slowly off Joshua’s body and half turned to reach toward the bedside table. When he turned back to Joshua, he had a towel in one hand. “Clean up, sir?” he asked with a grin.

“Love it!” Joshua replied, laughing as Colin dabbed at his naked body with the towel, eagerly blotting up all traces of semen and sweat. “What’s this? I don’t usually get this kind of service.” The towel was soft, and Colin slid it, tenderly, over his body, then used the other end to wipe at himself before tossing it to the floor.

“Now,” he said, grinning down at Joshua. “It’s time for a Halloween treat.

Josh stretched languorously. “A Halloween treat? What kind?”

“Next year we should dress up,” Colin said, bending over him.

“As what?” Josh asked. “A cop and his prisoner?”

“No,” Colin said, shaking his head. “Though, I do have some ideas about that.” He placed something on Joshua’s chest.

“What’s that?” Josh asked, lifting his head to peer down. “What did you put on me?” Then, spotting the small item, he burst into laughter. “Oh my god, Colin!” A piece of candy corn was resting close to his nipple. “Please tell me you didn’t steal that from Sarah and Deborah’s Halloween bags!”

“I’ll have you know,” Colin said, faking an offended tone, “that I did not steal Halloween candy from David’s daughters. I bought this candy corn myself especially for this occasion.” He bent and ate the candy from Josh’s chest, his wet tongue gliding across Joshua’s nipple many more times than was necessary to accomplish his task.” Mmmmm,” he sighed. “So good! This is just heaven.”

“You,” Joshua observed sadly, “are totally bat-shit crazy. Do you know that?”

“Really?” Colin said, laying a piece of candy a bit lower on Josh’s chest. “You think so?” He bent and licked the treat from Joshua’s smooth, olive skin.

Josh shivered a bit as Colin’s tongue caressed his chest. “Well,” he admitted finally, “I have to admit, this feels pretty damned good.” He sighed, closing his eyes, then abruptly opened them again. “Hey, what ‘thoughts’ did you have about Halloween costumes?”

Another piece of candy corn landed on Josh’s body. This time the sweet treat fell right next to his navel.

“Mmmm,” Colin hummed appreciatively. “Now that’s a beautiful sight.” He bent and licked the candy into his mouth. Then, unable to resist, he swirled his tongue around Joshua’s navel.

“Mmmm, yourself,” Josh moaned in response, feeling his dick begin to respond to the moist caress of Colin’s lips and tongue. “Costumes, Colin?” he said finally. “Your thoughts on costumes? And if you put one of those on my dick I’ll…” his voice trailed away leaving his threat unfinished.

Colin grinned, nuzzling Joshua’s smooth belly. “You’ll what!” he demanded.

“Just the visual, Colin,” Joshua said, choked with laughter. “C’mon, Irish! The visual!”

Colin pressed his face to Josh’s naked belly, his whole body shaking with laughter. “Mean!” he said finally, recovering a bit. “That’s just mean, Joshua.”

“Costumes, Colin,” Josh reminded him.

“Well,” Colin said, placing another piece of candy corn on the crease where Josh’s leg met his body. “What I visualize is this.” He lifted his hand and moved it across thin air as if setting a stage. “YOU,” he said dramatically, “dressed as a slave boy.”

Joshua choked with laughter.”

“A red leather thong firmly in place,” Colin continued, staring into space as he described his vision. “The straps of leather attached to the thong are wrapped – seductively wrapped mind you – ” he added, “around your thighs.”

Joshua screamed with laughter as Colin lowered his head and licked up the candy leaving a wet trail on Joshua’s thigh.

Then he lifted his head and continued: “A matching red leather harness is twined around your chest, extremely hot, and yet…” he inhaled and paused for effect “tasteful. It displays your pectoral muscles and nipples in a daring peek-a-boo manner, guaranteed – guaranteed mind you – ” he said soberly, waving a forefinger in front of Josh’s face for emphasis… “to make a grown man – who would be me – ” he added in a stage-whisper, pointing to himself, “positively weep with joy.”

Joshua gasped for breath, still shaking with laughter.

“And,” Colin continued, seemingly unaffected by Josh’s shrieks of mirth, “around your neck is a gold collar to which is attached…” he paused for emphasis. “…a red leash.”

“You don’t say!” Joshua choked, still laughing.

“I do say,” Colin continued. “And I’ll bet you can’t imagine who is holding that leash!” He paused and peered down at Joshua, eyebrows raised questioningly. “Care to venture a guess?”

“Would that be…” Josh paused and rolled his eyes, as if thinking the question over, “… YOU, perhaps?”

“Me, indeed!” Colin replied. “And may I say you are VERY intelligent for a slave boy.”

“And how are you dressed, Colin?” Joshua asked him, grinning from ear to ear. “Or should I refer to you as master?”

“Not until you’re wearing the costume,” Colin informed him. “Me? How am I dressed?”

“I can’t wait,” Joshua said, chuckling.

“Well,” Colin said conversationally, leaning on his arm as he stretched out next to Joshua, “as you might expect, I’m dressed entirely in black leather.”

“Looking ever so hot!” Joshua added.

Colin laughed. “But of course!” he said, laying another candy corn on Joshua’s belly. “You know I always look hot in leather.” He dipped his head to lick the candy corn from Joshua’s body.

Joshua wrapped an arm around Colin’s neck and tugged him closer until their bodies were once again molded together. “It’s one of the very first things I noticed about you,” he murmured seductively. “That you look hot as fuck in leather.” He captured Colin’s lips in a long, lingering kiss.

Colin returned his kiss, snuggling closer. “Mmmm…” he moaned. “This is heaven.”

“I thought you said eating candy corn off my body was heaven,” Joshua reminded him, still grinning.

“Anything that has to do with your naked body is heaven,” Colin replied.

“You got any more of that candy corn?” Joshua asked, trying to peer over Colin’s shoulder toward the bedside table. “You’ve been hogging it. And what’s in that huge bag you brought in with you tonight? You shoved it into the fridge before I had a chance to peek at it.”

Colin turned and plunged his hand into a small, brown bag that sat on the nearby table. It immediately emerged filled with candy corn. “Here you go,” he said, pouring half the candy into Joshua’s hand and then popping a few into his mouth. “Far as the bag goes it’s got more candy, a quart of cider that’s just dying to be heated up in the microwave, a pumpkin pie with whipped cream for the top, aaaannnd,” he drawled, “… a DVD!”

“What’s the DVD?”

“BWAAA HAAA HAAA!” Colin fake-laughed “I stopped and borrowed it from Jeff! It’s The Thiiiiiiing!”

“Brilliant!” Joshua exclaimed. “You are the perfect Halloween date!”

“Then later, maybe, we’ll have hot cider and pumpkin pie with whipped cream.”

“And when we do,” Joshua said, nuzzling Colin’s cheek, “I’ll have something interesting to lick off your body!”

Colin snickered. “I’m willing to bet that I’d be totally …” he inhaled deeply and waggled his eyebrows in a wickedly suggestive manner, “up for that activity.”

“I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised,” Joshua said, grinning. “And hey,” he added in a softer voice, “Happy Halloween, baby. And thanks. You always make me feel so special.”

“That’s because you are special.” He returned Joshua’s kiss and smiled. And besides, I love you, my little Jewish slave boy. Now let’s go watch The THING!’

Joshua grabbed the candy bag and, cackling like a couple of witches hovering over a boiling caldron, they dashed downstairs to the living room where pie, whipped cream and ‘The Thing’ waited.

 

Joshua’s Birthday

Colin settled onto the couch beside Joshua and wrapped an arm around him. “Did you enjoy your birthday, pretty boy?”

Joshua shot Colin a look, grimacing at the pet name. “Pretty boy?” he said, brows still cocked in amused disbelief. “Me?”

“Well, you’re my pretty boy, whether you believe it or not!”

“At best I’m a quirky looking Jew, and yes. I had a great birthday, thanks to you.” He held up his arm, displaying the brand-new watch on his wrist. “With Hebrew numbers,” he said. “How the hell did you ever find it?”

“Searched Google under ‘great gifts to give your Jewish husband’,” Colin replied.

“This is the one that really humbles me,” Joshua said, reaching to caress an antique plaque which lay on their coffee table.

“The minute I saw it I knew it had to be yours,” Colin told him. He leaned forward with Joshua to peer at the decorative tile.

“I’m no Lion of Judah,” Joshua muttered, running his fingers over the outline of the lion.

“But you are, Josh,” Colin objected. “Your strength, your courage, is what got me through the worst times in my life.”

Joshua stared intently at the lion, then silently shook his head. “He’s the symbol for the Tribe of Judah,” Joshua murmured.

“What tribe is your family part of?” Colin asked.

Joshua leaned back, laughing. “I have no idea. Most tribal identities were lost a long time ago. Only a few religious tribes like the Levites have passed their tribal affiliation on.” He turned to Colin and shrugged. “You want me to be from the tribe of Judah?” He asked, with a quick grin.

“You are from the tribe of Judah as far as I’m concerned.” Colin huffed a sigh through his nose, his face quirked into a pensive frown.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh,” Colin sighed again and turned to face Joshua on the couch. “I’m annoyed because I couldn’t get you what I really wanted to get you for your birthday.”

“Why not?”

Colin lifted his eyebrows and smirked. “Blame COVID-19.”

“What did you want to get me?”

“I looked into buying us a trip to Israel.”

“Oh my god, Colin!” Joshua gasped out.

“I would have loved that,” Colin murmured. “Being with you there. Walking through all those Jewish landmarks. Seeing Israel.” He lifted his head and grinned at his husband. “I even planned for us to stay at a Kibbutz!” Then he lifted his eyebrows and shrugged again. “But no dice.”

“Most of them are just tourist traps now,” Joshua observed.

“Not the ones I was looking at,” Colin told him. “They even put you to work. A real, working Israeli Kibbutz.”

“Thank you for the thought, my love,” Joshua said, then kissed Colin’s cheek. “But sharing my birthday here with you in our home is all the celebration I need.”

“Makes me sad that the guys can’t be here,” Colin said.

“I heard from all of them,” Joshua told him. “Trent sent me a porn video that he said reminded him of you.” He shot a glance at Colin. “Believe me. You don’t want to see it.”

Colin nodded and rolled his eyes. “I can imagine.”

“Yeah. It was bad,” Joshua replied, laughing.

Colin nodded, the frowned and took Joshua’s hand. “Do me a favor,” he said, then lifted Joshua’s hand to his lips and kissed it.

“Anything. You know that.”

“Don’t disparage yourself that way. You’re not a quirky looking Jew.” He half-turned to face Joshua and laid his hand on Joshua’s cheek. “I hate it when you do that because, Joshua, you are beautiful.”

Joshua blushed and tried to duck his head, but Colin would not allow it. “Those deep, dark eyes,” Colin said, his voice low and melodic. “That smile that would blind the sun in the sky. Those curls that I can’t get enough of ever.” He wound one of Joshua’s ringlets around his index finger and pressed their foreheads together. “You are beautiful, Josh.” He leaned back quickly. “Now just say ‘thank you’!”

Joshua breathed out a laugh and blushed. “Thank you,” he whispered, unable to meet Colin’s eyes.

“You’re everything to me,” Colin murmured.

“You’re going to make me cry.”

Colin grinned and shrugged. “Go ahead!”

“Don’t want to be ‘wimpy Josh’ on my birthday,” Joshua said, then captured Colin’s lips in a slow, intimate kiss, his tongue caressing Colin’s in a moist, seductive caress.

“Mm,” Colin moaned softly. “Now that’s more like it.” He leaned back and took a quick breath. “Oh! Almost forgot to tell you. I sent your mom a dozen roses today.”

“Why? It’s not her birthday.”

“I thanked her for giving me the most wonderful man in the world to be my husband,” Colin replied.

Joshua stared at him, his mouth open in amazement. “You are the most – the most…,”

“Yeeesss?” Colin drawled out, grinning.

For a moment Joshua said nothing, then he drew Colin close and kissed him again. “You’re my everything too,” he whispered. “Thank you, my sweet Irish love. This is the best birthday I’ve ever had.”

“Your presents weren’t that good,” Colin teased.

“Nothing to do with the presents. It’s the best birthday I’ve ever had because I’m spending it with you.”

“Well, it’s not over yet. How do you want to spend the rest of it?”

Joshua smiled and his arms tightened around Colin’s neck. “How indeed.” He kissed Colin again, sliding his fingers through Colin’s thick, sandy waves. “Do I have to draw you a picture?”

Colin stood, drawing Joshua to his feet along with him. “Come with me, Lion of Judah,” he murmured. “I’m no lion trainer, but I have an idea about how to tame you that I think you might enjoy.”

“Of that I have absolutely no doubt,” Joshua replied laughing.

“Happy Birthday, my beautiful love.”

“Thank you, my beloved husband. You make every day happy.”

Valentine’s Day 2020 with Colin and Josh

Joshua Campbell-Abrams moaned out a soft breath, stirring in the comfort of their warm, cozy bed, reluctant to leave it and start his day. Eyes still closed he turned to his side and stretched out a hand, expecting to touch Colin’s solid, muscular frame, but instead his hands found nothing.

Opening his eyes, he saw one red-wrapped candy heart lying on the bed beside him in Colin’s accustomed place. He snatched it up, chuckling. “What’s he up to?” he wondered, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

“Colin!” he called, as he wandered to the bathroom. “You here?” At the bathroom door he peered down the stairs but saw nothing. “Colin!” he called again, but silence was his only reply. He sighed and entered the bathroom, then burst into laughter. Taped to the mirror was a huge, red, paper heart and on it the words “Be mine!” had been written in Colin’s distinctive scrawl.

After using the bathroom, he moved down the stairs, still seeing no sign of his husband. Sitting at center of their dining room table was a beautiful arrangement of red roses. “Oh, Colin,” he whispered. The card attached to the flowers read: “We will last forever. I love you.” Joshua pressed the card to his lips, his breath catching in his chest with remembered joy. “We Will Last Forever was the song to which they had walked down the aisle on their wedding day, and it would always hold a treasured place in Joshua’s heart.

Holding the card and the candy heart he glanced around. On the coffee table in front of their couch was a heart-shaped box of candy and a card. He sat on the couch and opened both. Inside the card Colin had written: “Timeless. Priceless. Endless. Those are the words that best describe my love for you. Happy Valentine’s day, A thaisce. I love you with all my Irish heart.”

Joshua bowed his head and pressed the scrawled message to his lips, then drew in a shaky breath and looked around. “Colin?” he called. “Where the hell are you?”

“You lookin’ for me?” Colin said, strolling in from the kitchen a wide grin plastered on his handsome Irish face. “I was out back on my machines.”

Joshua gestured to the flowers, the candy, shaking his head, his eyebrows arched. “I’m – I’m speechless.” He got to his feet and walked into Colin’s arms, his own arms winding around Colin’s neck. “Thank you,” he whispered. “Your card and candy and gift are still hidden upstairs.” He leaned back and grimaced. “But I didn’t get your flowers yet. I was going to do that later today.”

“Ahhh, skip it,” Colin growled out, nuzzling Joshua’s cheek. “I’ll share yours. It already smells like a funeral home in here.”

Joshua snickered and pressed his face against Colin’s neck, holding him tight. “Let me go get your gifts and card,” he murmured.

“I’ve already got the gift I really want,” Colin said, rocking Joshua against his body before kissing him tenderly. “But… if you insist.” He released Joshua and plopped onto the couch. “I’m opening your candy!” he called as Joshua disappeared at the top of the steps.

“I bet you bought your favorite kind!” Echoed down the stairwell causing Colin to snicker and nod.

“You’re damned right I did.” Colin muttered, yanking the cellophane off the heart-shaped box of ‘Dove’s Assorted Chocolates’.

He heard Joshua above his head, moving around in the bedroom, then opening the sliding panel to their small attic. “Damn!” Colin muttered, his mouth full of chocolate. “I didn’t think to look there!”

“Close your eyes!” Joshua called down the stairwell. “And no cheating!”

Colin leaned back on the couch, still chewing, and put a hand over his eyes. “Not looking!” He called, then heard Joshua coming down the stairs.

“Keep those eyes shut!” Joshua said, and Colin heard him moving objects about on the coffee table, clearly arranging them to his liking. “OK,” he said finally. “You can look.”

Colin opened his eyes, then widened them in amazement. “Wow!” he said, leaning forward.

“All from Ireland,” Joshua said, sitting down next to him, reaching into the box of Dove’s chocolates to grab his own morsel.

“Josh this is gorgeous!” Colin breathed out. “I’ve never seen this much candy in one place before!”

Joshua laughed. “And it’s Irish candy!” he added, nudging Colin with an elbow.

“And what’s this?” Colin asked, picking up a gift-wrapped box.

“Open it and see.”

Colin opened the gift and gasped in surprised delight. “Josh!! It’s beautiful!”

“Hand made in Ireland,” Joshua mumbled around a mouthful of chocolate. “Your mom helped me find the Irish lady who makes them.”

Colin held it up before his eyes. “Jesus! It’s incredible!”

“You’ll look amazing in it. Now open your card.”

In Colin’s Valentine card, Joshua offered a touching tribute to their marriage. “I’ve fallen in love many, many times in my life, Colin. But always, always, always with just one person – you. Thank you for being my best dream, my best gift, and my best friend. I adore you.”

“Josh,” Colin whispered, then turned to kiss him. “Thank you, sweetheart. My gift to you isn’t nearly as spectacular.” He reached under the box of chocolates and pulled out an envelope which he handed to Joshua.

“What’s this?”

“Well, open it and SEE!”

Inside the envelope was a brochure for ‘Inn at Perry Cabin’ and reservations for a long weekend. “It’s on Chesapeake Bay,” Colin told him, pointing to the brochure, reading over his shoulder. “I got us a suite with view of the water.”

“Oh, Colin,” Joshua whispered, turning the pages. “It’s so beautiful!” He turned to his husband. “You got us a suite?”

“Nothing but the best, bud,” Colin said, nuzzling against his cheek. “The reservations are for this weekend, so I hope you didn’t have plans made.”

“None that I wouldn’t cancel to have this!” Joshua said, still peering at brochure. He laid the papers on the table and turned to face his husband. “Thank you,” he whispered, reaching to caress Colin’s cheek.

“Thank you,” Colin replied. He kissed Joshua tenderly, then stood and drew him to his feet. “Da-da-da-da-da-daaa,” he hummed, pulling Joshua into his arms, swaying with him in time to the song he began to croon.

Joshua felt his eyes burn with tears. No song meant more. No song could ever mean as much. And he tightened his arms around Colin’s neck as they danced to Colin’s lovely voice softly singing in his ear: “We can last forever….”

Joshua blotted his tears on Colin’s T-shirt then leaned back to gaze into his eyes.

“Colin and Josh,” Colin whispered, then kissed him again. “Colin and Josh will last forever. Happy Valentine’s Day. Ta`mo chori istigh ionat, my oak.”

Ani Ohev Otcha,” Joshua whispered in return. “Happy Valentine’s Day to you, my beloved magic man.”

And their arms closed tight around each other as their dance continued.

Love’s Trials – Charlottesville and the ‘Unite the Right’ riots.

Love’s Trials – Charlottesville and the ‘Unite the Right’ riots.

August 12, 2017 was a momentous day in Charlottesville, Virginia. It was the day that the ‘Unite the Right’ protestors marched their way into history. It was also a day that left most of American feeling disgusted, repulsed and angry.

But for the characters in ‘Love’s Trials’ the ‘Unite the Right’ protest was more than a social or political event. They weren’t simply spectators to the terrible events of that day, they were participants. It was a moment in their lives when they were forced to face some of their most deeply felt prejudices, prejudices rooted in racial and personal memories too profoundly painful to ignore. It was a day when they feared for the safety of the ones they love most. And it was a day of responsibility, duty, and service.

Love’s Magic is set in Charlottesville. Much of the Love’s Magic storyline revolves around the University of Virginia and the politics which are a fundamental part any organization as large as a top tier college. Love’s Trials is set in the same locale and features many of the same characters. Consequently, when the ‘Unite the Right’ protests took place in Charlottesville it was simply impossible for me to ignore an incident which was so fundamentally important to our nation’s history and to the lives of the men who inhabit Love’s Trials’ world. It simply had to be part of the storyline.

Colin, as a Sergeant with the University of Virginia campus police force, would be involved in this conflict as a professional law enforcement officer whose duty was to keep the peace to the best of his ability. But at the same time, because he is deeply in love with a Jewish man, he could not remain indifferent to the vile anti-Semitic tone of the ‘Unite the Right’ protestors. Joshua would experience this incident on an intensely personal level, both because the involvement of the neo-Nazi’s awakened deeply-held historical and family memories and because the man he loves is involved in every aspect of this conflict, a conflict which places him in constant danger.

Knowing Colin as well as I do, I knew that he would not only take great offense at the anti-Semitic rhetoric the Nazi’s were spewing on that day, he would also be frothing at the mouth with anger. One of the things he loves most about Joshua is his Jewish heritage. He believes that the deep reservoir of inner strength which he has always loved and counted on within Joshua flows from that genetic, spiritual source. Hearing the Nazi’s hate-filled, anti-Semitic chants would have set his Irish heart on fire with rage.

At the same time, I knew Colin would be required to remain in control of his emotions. Certainly, he would have longed to batter the Nazis to a pulp. But it’s not Colin’s way to use physical force no matter how angry he might be. He is experienced enough at his job to know that such a reaction would solve nothing. Responding with undue force would certainly have provoked a response from the supremacists in which innocent people could have been hurt. He had to try to stay calm. He had to try to react in a professional manner. He didn’t always succeed.

In Love’s Trials you’ll hear Colin talk about the day of the “Unite the Right’ riots. He’ll discuss what he saw and heard. He’ll discuss about how he responded. He’ll discuss how he felt. And he’ll discuss his thoughts on how well he feels the police force, whose job it is to protect Charlottesville citizens, responded to the dramatic events of that momentous day. However, although he was at the center of every incident which took place in Charlottesville on August 12th, 2017, those events remained very much out of his control. His point of view with regard to this emotionally charged day in his professional life is both personal and deeply felt, but he would certainly never claim that they were unbiased. Colin is at heart a deeply honest man. And as such he would be the first to admit that no one who was present at the “Unite the Right” riots that day could have been less biased than he.

Joshua’s point of view regarding that terrible day was also deeply personal. As a Jewish man who lost family members in the Holocaust, he possessed a unique perspective regarding the ‘Unite the Right’ march in Charlottesville. He overwhelmed with disgust and anger that the neo-Nazis had been allowed to march in his city in the first place, and his first instinct was to join the counter protestors and face down the white-supremacists. At the same time, he knew that his presence at the event would make it impossible for Colin to concentrate on his job. Colin’s concern for Joshua’s safety would have been a distraction which could easily have gotten him injured or even killed.

It was a dangerous situation for everyone involved and Joshua had to make a hard decision. Would he join the counter protestors? Or would he stay home in safety. His desire to be part of what happened that day was fueled by his genetic revulsion for anything connected with the Nazis. The grandfather who nearly raised him had been imprisoned in the camps. Both great grandparents had been Holocaust victims along with many, many other family members. And yet his presence at that ugly event would have placed the man he loved in danger, and Colin had made it clear he was vehemently opposed to Joshua being anywhere near the gathering. Any decision Joshua made meant facing a trial that could possibly change their lives forever.

They both made decisions on that fateful day that altered their feelings about their relationship and about themselves. Colin had been a police officer for a decade but he had never before faced a situation where he was confronted with hatred and bigotry this vicious which also posed a very real threat to the one he loved. Joshua had never before faced a situation which forced him to appreciate and accept how deeply connected he was with his Jewish heritage.

In the end, they both made decisions that would affect they way the lived their lives from that point forward. I won’t share all the details either of that day or of what came afterward for Colin and Joshua. I don’t want to ‘spoil’ you for the dramatic events that take place in Love’s Trials. But I can say this: While this incident doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of what they’re go through in this book, it does lay a foundation of love and faith in each other that they will certainly need in the days ahead. And it is a profound chapter in what I hope you’ll feel is a profound story.

Love’s Trials is available on Amazon and in Kindle Unlimited and ALSO available in audio format on Audible, narrated by the amazing Walker Williams! Colin and Joshua face many trials in the course of this book, the ‘Unite the Right’ protest being only one. And when the trial is deadly enough, love can lose its way.


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Colin and Joshua’s Tarot Cards!! A peek into their nature.

An interviewer asked me this: Tell me one thing hardly anyone knows about you.

Well, the first thing that comes to mind is that I spent 15 years reading Tarot cards and doing Astrological horoscopes for a living. Not only that, but I taught the very first online Tarot class in the history of the world and this was loooong before the Internet. It was on a service known as Quantum-Line, or Q-link which was the precursor to AOL. I taught classes there, led full moon meditations. It was great, GREAT fun!

And it was the beginning of what is now, of course, a world-wide phenomenon, the WEB. It was more fun back then because we were involved in ground-breaking activities and making our own rules up as we went… always MY favorite thing to do.

I enjoyed reading Tarot cards. I never saw them as a way to tell fortunes or predict the future. I used them much as a psychologist (Joshua?) would use ink-blots. They’re a great psychological tool, and a lot of fun.

I’ve always seen the Magician as the card meant for authors. The Magician lifts his wand toward the skies to call on inspiration and then uses the tools he has been given to make that inspiration manifest in the world. This is what authors do all the time. Even those authors who have yet to sell even one book have created something magical. They have drawn on the power of the Universe and manifested that power on Earth. I don’t care if it’s a children’s book, a cookbook, or a contemporary gay romance novel like mine… they are all a manifestation of what is most divine within each of us.

 

 

Colin’s card would have to be the Knight of Wands. Wands represents the element of fire, and I don’t think anyone would dispute me when I say that Colin is a man who overflows with fiery dynamism. He is the poster boy for primal energy, inspiration, and just plain life force. He’s enthusiastic and courageous. If you wanted to ‘light a fire under’ someone, Colin would be the perfect guy for the job. And as a Knight of Wands he wields that fire as any gallant Knight would… with courage, passion, and in a way that inspires all of us. Joshua likens Colin to Don Quixote since Colin’s quest in life, at least as Joshua sees it, is to defend the helpless and destroy the wicked. But for Colin it’s more than a quest, it’s the driving force of his life. The Knight of Wands is not someone who could ever back down or take a back seat to anyone. He’s at the forefront of every battle and in the thick of any conflict where his ideals are being challenged. Look at him holding the reins, totally in control of the wildly rearing animal with only one hand. And you can bet he makes sure there’s an audience there watching him do it. The Knight of Wands is a showoff!! He likes attention and applause.

I’ll also add that Colin absolutely sizzles with sexual heat. As Joshua noted from the moment they first met, Colin smolders with an almost dangerously seductive quality that makes him nearly impossible to resist. His is ever the ‘knight in shining armor’ charging off to meet whatever danger or challenge is foolish enough to cross his path.

The Knight of Wands will be your champion. But he can also be the chaotic force that dances through your life, leaving a tangled chaotic mess behind him. He’s a force to reckon with. Just ask Joshua.

I see Joshua as the King of Cups a card symbolized by the element of water. Emotional, healing, and always led by love, this card truly represents the rulership of the heart. But at the same time, he is a King and represents authority and responsibility. In this case, the King can feel responsible for the emotions of others and also be very much in tune with what others are feeling. This emphatic nature helps Joshua understand Colin better than Colin understands himself. During their very first get-together in Love’s Magic Joshua startles Colin by speaking with complete understanding about Colin’s most deeply held secret. See this excerpt:

 

“So,” Colin said, “I have a great heart, huh?”

“One of the greatest, I suspect,” Joshua replied.

Colin looked at him thoughtfully. “I’m afraid I may end up disappointing you, Josh. I’m really not all that noble.”

Joshua frowned and shook his head. “I disagree. There is something innately noble about you, Colin. Something beyond the ordinary. You’re not just a cop doing a job. It’s somehow greater than that.” He drew in a deep breath and when he spoke again his voice was low and warm with meaning. “I was serious when I compared you to Don Quixote. You seem to view your work as a personal mission. A way to right some terrible wrong. Like a knight on a noble quest.”

For a moment there was silence.

Joshua’s eyes dropped. “That’s what I see when I look at you, Colin,” he said. “A knight on a noble quest.” He lifted his head and met Colin’s eyes. “And, yeah. I know I sound like a hopeless romantic.”

Momentarily speechless, Colin’s stared at him, his heart stuttering in his chest, his honeyed-green eyes wide with surprise. Joshua knew no more about Colin than any other causal relationship in his life. And yet, without even realizing it, he had just spoken with eloquence and hair-raising accuracy of the most deeply hidden truth in Colin’s heart. “You’re…” Colin hesitated then drew in a quick breath, “…you’re damned insightful, Joshua.”

Joshua’s empathetic nature makes him a natural as a psychologist. And yet the King of Cups can often find that understanding his own emotions is a much greater challenge than understanding the feelings of others. Joshua suffered severe emotional and physical abuse as a child and the roiling waters of his emotions reflect the pain of those early years. Joshua still struggles to understand and overcome the damage done by those difficult years in his life. The King of Cups can be very introverted. He can internalize his feelings and find it difficult to trust others enough to establish real emotional intimacy.

Joshua’s King of Cups can sit on a very lonely throne. He can isolate himself to the point where it becomes difficult to reach out to others. And he can be totally prepared to flee at a moment’s notice when he suspects betrayal or abandonment may lie ahead. Joshua ran away from Colin after their first fight, convinced that offering his love to his magical Knight of Wands was a hopeless flight of fancy. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in Colin. He didn’t believe in himself.

Colin, as Joshua’s ‘Knight in shining armor’ helps him find healing and peace but only after they both face the inner demons symbolized by their Tarot card. Colin must lay aside his devotion to ‘self-image’ and allow himself to be vulnerable enough to go after Joshua and seek his forgiveness. The cool, healing waters of Joshua’s presence quench the fires of Colin’s inner Knight.

Joshua must forget his childhood fears enough to trust in Colin’s love. He must lay aside the lack of self-worth he was taught in his childhood and come to believe that he deserves the love of the Knight and champion who has swept him off his feet.

Understanding the meaning of their Tarot card gives me insight into the motivation, goals, and needs of my characters! And… it’s a fun way to relax when I’ve spent too much time bending over the computer, writing!!

What Tarot Card do you think best represents YOU?


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Which actors would play my characters in the Love’s Magic movie???

 


Which actor/actress would you like to see playing the lead character from your book?

Now I’m embarrassed. I always have an actual person’s face in mind for my characters. Always. And usually that face belongs to an actor or actress. It’s just easier for me to write when I can see the character living out what’s going on in my mind.

I had Colin and Joshua completely fleshed out in the character development sheets I always use when I first start writing. I knew them. I knew what they were like. I knew what the liked and didn’t like. I knew their faults and flaws and weaknesses. I knew their strengths. And I had a (sort-of) idea what they looked like.

Colin, of course, was Irish. And I wanted him to look Irish. It’s a lot of who he is as a man and it was important to me that the character’s image in my mind convey the deep love he feels for being Irish. So, I went looking for Irish men. And this is who I chose:

Kill me now! Yes. It’s Jamie Dornan. But… BUT… I honest-to-god had NO idea who he was when I picked the image. He just looked IRISH! I am no fan of Christian Grey, had never read 50 Shades of anything, have never seen the movies, had never seen Jamie in anything. He just looked… Irish!  And, of course, he looked hot as FUCK!

As Joshua said when he first saw Colin on hit motorcycle: “Colin sat astride the bike, his muscular frame wonderfully emphasized by his black leather jacket and tight jeans. In his hand was a helmet emblazoned with a shamrock and the words: ‘Go Irish!’ My God, Joshua thought, his breath catching in his chest. He’s just so fucking hot!”

I know now, of course. Trust me to pick the actor playing the most notorious heterosexual on the planet as the mental model for my gay-as-hell Irish cop.

*sighs*

But… once I saw him I was sunk. He just WAS Colin! So I’m stuck with Jamie Dornan… if such a thing is possible. And, frankly, the Jamie Dornan who was and remains ‘Colin’ in my fevered brain is Jamie as Sheriff Graham in ‘Once Upon a Time’. THAT’ is Colin to me.

Joshua. Again, I went on the hunt for an ethnic look. Joshua is Jewish. I needed a Jewish guy. And there he was.

Again, I had no clue who Adam Brody was when I picked him. I had never seen the OC, didn’t know Adam from Adam in the garden of Eden. I just knew he was Joshua. There were the dark, tumbling curls that Colin drooled over. There was the Jewish strength and calm that he relied on.

In fact THIS is the picture that Colin was looking at when he thought: “Alone in his apartment at night, he studied the only picture he had of Joshua, clutching it tightly in one hand while holding his phone in the other. It was a black and white photo which Joshua had given to him some weeks ago. The photo was beautifully lit and the reflective expression on Joshua’s face framed by his dark, tumbling curls tore at Colin’s heart. He gazed past Colin with dreamy eyes which focused on some distant and unreachable goal.”

So those are the two guys I continually saw in my head as I wrote Love’s Magic. I have to confess… once I’d discovered Jamie Dornan (and I admit that I am really late to that party!) I knew Colin couldn’t have been anyone else. And frankly, having he and Adam firmly planted in my brain made writing Colin and Joshua’s romantic scenes a lot more pleasurable. I mean a LOT!

I often wonder if I’m the only author who uses uber-hot fantasy guys as her mental model when they write. Somehow I doubt it.

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Joshua walked away from Love’s Magic…

I thought long and hard about Joshua before I ever began to write Love’s Magic. Some things I knew on instinct from the moment the character emerged in my mind. I knew he was lonely. I know he’d been abused in his childhood at the hands of an alcoholic father. I knew he was damaged.

Another man might have turned his wounded spirit on others, returning abuse for abuse, but I knew this wasn’t Joshua’s way. He wanted to be healed, but he also longed to heal others who had been hurt as deeply as he had. I think one reason he fell so hard for Colin was that his empathetic spirit saw the pain and darkness that kept Colin’s heart locked away and untouchable.

No two men could have seemed more opposite in nature. What could a swaggering, cocky, self-assured Irish cop possibly have in common with a soft-spoken, reticent, Jewish Doctor of Psychology? But from the very beginning Joshua sensed something deeper in Colin’s nature, something beyond the fiercely independent, I-don’t-do-relationships attitude. He sensed something noble and deeply committed. He sensed a man on a quest to right a terrible wrong.

He didn’t know what drove Colin, but whatever crisis from the past held him captive, Joshua instinctively knew it was a huge part of what made Colin the man he was. He wasn’t under any illusions about the future. Colin had made it very clear on their first ‘date’ that he made no promises to anyone… ever, and he offered Joshua a clear-cut choice: see me on my terms or don’t see me at all.

Joshua tried to do it Colin’s way. He tried to accept his role as the sometimes friend and occasional bed-partner. But Joshua’s self-awareness had grown in the years since he was a shy, awkward boy struggling to believe in his own value.

What I admired most about Joshua was his determination not to let anything cheapen the love he felt for his charismatic Irish cop, not even Colin. He would not allow the love that meant everything to him to be treated as a short-term sexual liaison, bereft of feeling or intimacy, bereft of meaning. He knew he deserved more. He knew Colin deserved more.

Colin’s refusal to admit love into his heart did more to help Joshua grow past the pain of his abused childhood than anything else in his life. He simply loved Colin too much to demean what he felt for him. He found the strength and courage to walk away even though it broke his heart.

Even as the author, I honestly didn’t expect him to choose that route. But any other decision meant agreeing with Colin that what they shared could be minimized. I hated writing those scenes. It broke my heart because I knew how much Colin needed him. But… I had to trust in what he and Joshua were telling me and let them lead me to where they needed to go. I had to trust that they’d be together again if that’s what was meant to be.

Joshua knew Colin could never care for a man he couldn’t respect and who didn’t respect himself. And, even in the midst of his heartbreak, he discovered a new sense of self-worth that brought healing to himself and to his family. And as he walked the shores of Lake Michigan, remembering the nights he’d shared with his charismatic Irishman, he allowed himself to hope that Colin would one day realize that in leaving Joshua had offered him the greatest and most loving gift his heart could give and, perhaps give Love’s Magic another try.

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Why two gay couples? And why assault?


I was asked by someone who read Love’s Magic why I tackled the subject of campus assault in my manuscript. They commented that the subject matter seemed tricky and further added that writing a book which featured TWO unique gay couples seemed like dangerous territory for a first-time novelist. In fact that one aspect of Love’s Magic has drawn more attention than almost any other, which rather surprised me.

I can only say this. As someone who has been an assault victim I felt the subject needed discussion. And since I was attempting to offer as many viewpoints as possible on how victims and the persons close to them experience and deal with such a dreadful ordeal, I needed the perspective of both my couples in order to best explore the full range of possibilities.

But Love’s Magic is also a love story. These four men have each found someone who has become… or is becoming… the most important person in their lives. For David and Nate, it’s an already established relationship that gets rocked to its core when Nate is attacked. For Colin and Joshua, it’s working their way past some incredibly high, deep emotional barricades, particularly in Colin’s case, which make finding and keeping that relationship damn near impossible. And all of these issues revolve around the personal experience each of them has had with some form of abuse.

The four main characters in Love’s magic had to deal with assault and abuse, each in their own unique way, and no one of them handles it quite the way the others do. Each of these four men are stumbling toward their own healing and eventually share the best of what they’ve learned along the way with the other three. I needed every single one of these men in order to tell the story that needed to be told. Each of them saw the issue from a different perspective. But before they could find the healing they needed they each had to learn to see it through each other’s eyes.

I wanted to talk a bit about each of the four main characters.

Colin is the cop. He deals with every kind of assault on a daily basis as the man charged with finding and arresting the perpetrators of these crimes. But it also is a deeply personal issue for him for reasons which he will discuss with no one. There is pain buried deep within Colin that no ones sees, feelings he has suppressed for most of his life. But when Joshua cracks open his heart everything comes pouring out, and not all of it is good.

Joshua was abused as a child. He was physically assaulted by a drunken father who broke Joshua’s arm when he was eight. He knows what it’s like to be locked in a dark closet and left alone for hours with no food, no light, no help. He became a Doctor of Psychology in order to help others who had suffered as he had, but also to find his own healing. He could see more easily into Colin’s heart than he could into his own. And in helping the man he loved find healing, he also found healing within himself.

David was never physically abused. But he was assaulted emotionally and verbally by a cold and critical parent and grew up completely unable to believe in his own worth. These issues haunted him for most of his life and were the primary reason why his marriage failed. His father’s voice was still in his ears, directing his life through constant criticism of everything David did and became. The psychological damage David suffered kept him closeted for many, many years. His relationship with Nate led him to the therapy he needed and at least a partial healing.

Nate was never abused in any way. He had an almost ideal childhood. But he fell in love with a man whose self esteem had been badly damaged by a father’s coldness and constant criticism and had to learn how to cope with David’s resulting insecurities as their relationship grew. When Nate went to the rescue of a student who was under attack on the Tog, a park on the university campus, he was badly, though not critically, injured. The trauma he suffered then was the catalyst which eventually drew all four men together.

No two people experience life in the same way. It’s a unique journey for all of us. And when it comes to dealing with abuse in any form, and there are many, it often takes more than one perspective to lead us to the healing we need. Love’s Magic explores many of those pathways through the lives of four exceptional and dynamic men. I hope you’ll get to know them all. I think their stories will touch your heart.


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