Colin and Joshua’s Tarot Cards!! A peek into their nature.

An interviewer asked me this: Tell me one thing hardly anyone knows about you.

Well, the first thing that comes to mind is that I spent 15 years reading Tarot cards and doing Astrological horoscopes for a living. Not only that, but I taught the very first online Tarot class in the history of the world and this was loooong before the Internet. It was on a service known as Quantum-Line, or Q-link which was the precursor to AOL. I taught classes there, led full moon meditations. It was great, GREAT fun!

And it was the beginning of what is now, of course, a world-wide phenomenon, the WEB. It was more fun back then because we were involved in ground-breaking activities and making our own rules up as we went… always MY favorite thing to do.

I enjoyed reading Tarot cards. I never saw them as a way to tell fortunes or predict the future. I used them much as a psychologist (Joshua?) would use ink-blots. They’re a great psychological tool, and a lot of fun.

I’ve always seen the Magician as the card meant for authors. The Magician lifts his wand toward the skies to call on inspiration and then uses the tools he has been given to make that inspiration manifest in the world. This is what authors do all the time. Even those authors who have yet to sell even one book have created something magical. They have drawn on the power of the Universe and manifested that power on Earth. I don’t care if it’s a children’s book, a cookbook, or a contemporary gay romance novel like mine… they are all a manifestation of what is most divine within each of us.

 

 

Colin’s card would have to be the Knight of Wands. Wands represents the element of fire, and I don’t think anyone would dispute me when I say that Colin is a man who overflows with fiery dynamism. He is the poster boy for primal energy, inspiration, and just plain life force. He’s enthusiastic and courageous. If you wanted to ‘light a fire under’ someone, Colin would be the perfect guy for the job. And as a Knight of Wands he wields that fire as any gallant Knight would… with courage, passion, and in a way that inspires all of us. Joshua likens Colin to Don Quixote since Colin’s quest in life, at least as Joshua sees it, is to defend the helpless and destroy the wicked. But for Colin it’s more than a quest, it’s the driving force of his life. The Knight of Wands is not someone who could ever back down or take a back seat to anyone. He’s at the forefront of every battle and in the thick of any conflict where his ideals are being challenged. Look at him holding the reins, totally in control of the wildly rearing animal with only one hand. And you can bet he makes sure there’s an audience there watching him do it. The Knight of Wands is a showoff!! He likes attention and applause.

I’ll also add that Colin absolutely sizzles with sexual heat. As Joshua noted from the moment they first met, Colin smolders with an almost dangerously seductive quality that makes him nearly impossible to resist. His is ever the ‘knight in shining armor’ charging off to meet whatever danger or challenge is foolish enough to cross his path.

The Knight of Wands will be your champion. But he can also be the chaotic force that dances through your life, leaving a tangled chaotic mess behind him. He’s a force to reckon with. Just ask Joshua.

I see Joshua as the King of Cups a card symbolized by the element of water. Emotional, healing, and always led by love, this card truly represents the rulership of the heart. But at the same time, he is a King and represents authority and responsibility. In this case, the King can feel responsible for the emotions of others and also be very much in tune with what others are feeling. This emphatic nature helps Joshua understand Colin better than Colin understands himself. During their very first get-together in Love’s Magic Joshua startles Colin by speaking with complete understanding about Colin’s most deeply held secret. See this excerpt:

 

“So,” Colin said, “I have a great heart, huh?”

“One of the greatest, I suspect,” Joshua replied.

Colin looked at him thoughtfully. “I’m afraid I may end up disappointing you, Josh. I’m really not all that noble.”

Joshua frowned and shook his head. “I disagree. There is something innately noble about you, Colin. Something beyond the ordinary. You’re not just a cop doing a job. It’s somehow greater than that.” He drew in a deep breath and when he spoke again his voice was low and warm with meaning. “I was serious when I compared you to Don Quixote. You seem to view your work as a personal mission. A way to right some terrible wrong. Like a knight on a noble quest.”

For a moment there was silence.

Joshua’s eyes dropped. “That’s what I see when I look at you, Colin,” he said. “A knight on a noble quest.” He lifted his head and met Colin’s eyes. “And, yeah. I know I sound like a hopeless romantic.”

Momentarily speechless, Colin’s stared at him, his heart stuttering in his chest, his honeyed-green eyes wide with surprise. Joshua knew no more about Colin than any other causal relationship in his life. And yet, without even realizing it, he had just spoken with eloquence and hair-raising accuracy of the most deeply hidden truth in Colin’s heart. “You’re…” Colin hesitated then drew in a quick breath, “…you’re damned insightful, Joshua.”

Joshua’s empathetic nature makes him a natural as a psychologist. And yet the King of Cups can often find that understanding his own emotions is a much greater challenge than understanding the feelings of others. Joshua suffered severe emotional and physical abuse as a child and the roiling waters of his emotions reflect the pain of those early years. Joshua still struggles to understand and overcome the damage done by those difficult years in his life. The King of Cups can be very introverted. He can internalize his feelings and find it difficult to trust others enough to establish real emotional intimacy.

Joshua’s King of Cups can sit on a very lonely throne. He can isolate himself to the point where it becomes difficult to reach out to others. And he can be totally prepared to flee at a moment’s notice when he suspects betrayal or abandonment may lie ahead. Joshua ran away from Colin after their first fight, convinced that offering his love to his magical Knight of Wands was a hopeless flight of fancy. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe in Colin. He didn’t believe in himself.

Colin, as Joshua’s ‘Knight in shining armor’ helps him find healing and peace but only after they both face the inner demons symbolized by their Tarot card. Colin must lay aside his devotion to ‘self-image’ and allow himself to be vulnerable enough to go after Joshua and seek his forgiveness. The cool, healing waters of Joshua’s presence quench the fires of Colin’s inner Knight.

Joshua must forget his childhood fears enough to trust in Colin’s love. He must lay aside the lack of self-worth he was taught in his childhood and come to believe that he deserves the love of the Knight and champion who has swept him off his feet.

Understanding the meaning of their Tarot card gives me insight into the motivation, goals, and needs of my characters! And… it’s a fun way to relax when I’ve spent too much time bending over the computer, writing!!

What Tarot Card do you think best represents YOU?


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Straight women writing gay romance… and the gay men who love them.

I’m a straight woman who writes gay romance. I’ve been writing it almost since I was able to write. I was writing it before I knew what a homosexual was or what they did. I wasn’t writing sex scenes. I was writing love scenes. Because that’s what I write about. Love.

I had not one fucking clue what guys did in bed together. Trust me, as young as I was when I first began fantasizing about men loving men I didn’t have one fucking clue what ANYONE did in bed together, male/male, female/female/ male/female or any other combination you could imagine. I was an ignorant country girl who knew nothing about sex. I just know I loved the idea of two guys loving each other.

Fast forward to the days after I discovered that I wasn’t the only one who felt this way… (See my previous post ‘The Longest Journey’) … the days when I first began writing slash fan fiction. At that time I wrote in the toughest slash fiction genre in existance. I wrote RPF slash.

For anyone who doesn’t know, RPF slash means writing ‘real person’ slash. Slash fiction where the characters are real, living human beings. For reference simply type ‘J2 slash’ into Google and you’ll have forty-seven trillion examples of what I mean.

In those days writing RPF was frowned upon, even by other writers of slash fiction and the small group of us who wrote in that genre labored under the distinct impression that we were the proverbial red-headed stepchild. We were told in no uncertain terms that we were an embarrassment to the rest of the slash writing community. We were encouraged to both hide our heads in shame and hide our stories in dark corners where no decent writer of slash fiction would ever have to look at them. My response to their ravings was to say ‘fuck it’ and go on writing my stories.

Dealing with all of this crap was a huge pain in the butt back then, particularly in the Lord of the Rings slash fandom. When the movies first came out, focus on the male actors was damn near obsessive and the RPF slash writers who wrote them were under constant attack for doing so. At one point I even received a death-threat.

Dealing with all this left me very little time or emotional energy left to consider whether or not I should be writing gay fiction as a straight woman. I just wrote it and in the beginning I confess that I wrote it poorly. In the beginning my characters weren’t all that believable. And I feel sure that if anyone possessing real knowledge of what two men do in bed together had read my early slash stories, they would have immediately run off in search of an insulin injection. The men in my stories were femmy and unrealistic. The sex scenes… ditto.

I was still an ignorant farm girl who didn’t know what she was doing and knew even less about the reality of M/M relationships. I doubt if I’d ever, to my knowledge, actually met a gay man. All I knew was what I loved. And even back then I stove with every fiber of my being to value the love in my stories above sex… important though it is and as much as I love writing it.

But I was also smart enough to realize how little I knew about the reality of MM relationships and I because I loved writing gay romance and because I loved my characters and wanted them to be as good as I could possibly make them, I went in search of the truth… or at least what truth was available back then.

I was fortunate, because there was a wonderful, amazing, gay man named Minotaur. He attended every slash fiction conference out there (not many at the time) and offered panels specifically designed to teach writers of slash fiction the reality of MM relationships, particularly when it comes to what happens in bed.

His blog (which is STILL up and available) discussed every single aspect of male/male sex complete with illustrations. He has a HUGE question and answer section which provides information on every aspect of the M/M sexual relationship. Here is one example:

Dramatic asks,

I was wondering, when I guy has sex the first time and he’s on the bottom, how much would it hurt when the other man enters him? Would it tear skin, cause bleeding at all? Who would get the orgasm first, the one on top or bottom? I suppose top, but…

Dear Dramatic,

The pain a guy feels the first time he bottoms depends on a bunch of factors. How comfortable is he with the idea of getting fucked? How comfortable is he with the other guy? How scared is he? How horny? How drunk? All these, and more, will have a profound effect on how much pain he feels – if any.

If he’s comfortable, and turned on, and relaxed, he may feel no pain at all. If he’s tense, or nervous, or conflicted about the act, he may feel too much pain to complete the act.

It’s not like a woman’s first time – where the hymen gets broken. There is no *physical* reason why a guy can’t enjoy his first experience of anal sex – it’s mostly psychological. The more tense a guy is, the less his anal sphincter muscles will be able to relax and allow penetration. The more relaxed he is, the more control he’ll have over his own body, and the easier it will be.

As for the orgasm, there’s no way to tell who will pop first. It depends on what’s going on. Is the bottom enjoying himself? Is the top prone to pop quickly, or can he last all night? Too many factors to predict with any accuracy

— Minotaur

His answers were straight-forward, blunt, graphic, to the point, and pulled no punches. He was over-the-top about the importance of safe sex and spoke of it constantly. He was a mentor to every slash writer of my generation and his website is STILL one of the most valuable resources a writer of gay romance can find.

So I make no apologies for being a straight woman writing gay romance. I had a great mentor, and one of the main things he taught me was to never close my mind to any situation that develops between two human beings no matter what their gender or sexual orientation.

Sadly, Minotaur died in 2009 of a massive heart attack, but his wisdom and journal lives on in perpetuity. I feel sure that slash writers and gay romance writers STILL visit his website. I also feel sure that any writer of gay fiction who goes to Minotaur’s website will learn something valuable about their genre and be a better writer for having visited. I’m just grateful that he was around when I first started to write slash fiction.

What I love most about him is that he valued the women who were trying to articulate their love of gay romance and gay fiction. He valued us enough to become our teacher and to be certain we had all the knowledge we needed in order to write our genre with truth and authority.

I still miss him. I still value him. I still feel grateful to him. And I still honor him for taking all of us under his wing.

Go visit Minotaur’s Website! You’ll be glad you did.


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My favorite writing tool!

I was asked what tool I use that makes the writing process go more easily and efficiently, and my answer to that question would have to be Scrivener. I’m not the world’s most organized person and my writing process was sometimes scattered and chaotic. Scrivener helped me organize my thoughts and keep everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, connected with my writing project in one, well-ordered place.

Each of my chapters has it’s own folder and underneath that chapter I can use the corkboard feature to post any snippet of thought or sudden flash of insight I might have about where this chapter should lead. Under the chapter called Changes I’ve got two notes (which I’m not going to show you yet… ). Ideas that I can incorporate into that chapter at a later date. Helps me keep my thoughts organized. I can move them around and reorder them if the action sequence needs to be changed, and along with it’s hefty outlining component, it is a great brainstorming tool.

I keep lots and lots of reference material in my Scrivener file for every book I write. I have a folder for research, , one for characters, one for places, one for cuts, and one which stores character sheet templates. I love the folder for cuts. It allows me to remove segments of a chapter which no longer seem to fit and store the scene in the ‘cuts’ folder in case I decide use it at a later date in a different chapter.
Scrivener will compile your entire work into any number of formats from ebook to PDF and it offers many options for formatting your material. It even inserts front material and cover images.

Scrivener allows you to create, organize, and edit, all in one piece of software with every single piece of information you might need all right there at your fingertips. You get the functions of a word processor with the added benefit of the organizational tools and information a writer might need, all in the same software.

Scrivener also lets you label any component in your Scrivener file in any color you choose. The chapters marked in purple, for instance, are completed chapters while the ones labeled in blue are still in the hands of my editor.

Scrivener, quite simply, handles everything. It keeps all the information pertinent to your ongoing work in one place. You can import and store everything in one convenient file. I’m not beginning to cover all the functions which Scrivener provides. I encourage you to download it for yourself and give it a try. Scrivener is available for both Mac and Windows and comes with a thirty-day trial period which allows you plenty of time to discover if it’s the right tool for you.

I couldn’t get along without it and I think that once you’ve tried it, you’ll feel the same way.

You can download Scrivener here!


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Playlist for Love’s Magic!

Playlist for Love’s Magic:

Joshua

Wind Beneath My Wings

This song is, of course, more from Colin’s point of view and about Joshua. It comes slowly and not without huge firestorms of pain and bitter regret. But eventually Colin does come to realize that Joshua is his strength, or as he comes to call him, his oak. Colin’s always been the star. The alpha male. The big, strong, Irish cop who takes care of everyone else. But Joshua with his calm, steady presence has become the wind beneath his wings.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jorJh8DTMVM

Ohhhh, oh, oh, oh, ohhh.
It must have been cold there in my shadow,
To never have sunlight on your face.
You were content to let me shine, that’s your way.
You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,
While you were the one with all the strength.
A beautiful face without a name for so long.
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you’re my hero,
And everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
For you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,
But I’ve got it all here in my heart.
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.
I would be nothing without you.

Did you ever know that you’re my hero?
You’re everything I wish I could be.
I could fly higher than an eagle,
For you are the wind beneath my wings.

Did I ever tell you you’re my hero?
You’re everything, everything I wish I could be.
Oh, and I, I could fly higher than an eagle,
For you are the wind beneath my wings,
’cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

Oh, the wind beneath my wings.
You, you, you, you are the wind beneath my wings.
Fly, fly, fly away. You let me fly so high.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.
Oh, you, you, you, the wind beneath my wings.

Fly, fly, fly high against the sky,
So high I almost touch the sky.
Thank you, thank you,
Thank God for you, the wind beneath my wings.


David:

Bound To You – Christina Aguilera

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5RAATO3rTE

As David struggles against the many fears which haunt him the one truth he can’t escape is that he is bound, heart and soul, to the blue-eyed angel who stole his heart. Again and again David is forced to face the same fears he has battled since childhood. Their relationship teeters on the brink of destruction before David finally realizes that he is much more bound to Nate than he is to any of the dark forces which have always haunted him. Finally he know that he could lose everything else in his life and be happy as long as Nate was by his side.

 

Sweet love, sweet love

Trapped in your love

I’ve opened up, unsure I can trust

My heart and I were buried in dust

Free me, free us

You’re all I need when I’m holding you tight

If you walk away I will suffer tonight

I found a man I can trust

And boy, I believe in us

I am terrified to love for the first time

Can’t you see that I’m bound in chains?

I finally found my way

I am bound to you

I am bound to you

So much, so young, I’ve faced on my own

Walls I built up became my home

I’m strong and I’m sure there’s a fire in us

Sweet love, so pure

I catch my breath we’re just one beating heart

And I brace myself, please don’t tear this apart

I found a man I can trust

And boy, I believe in us

I am terrified to love for the first time

Can’t you see that I’m bound in chains?

I finally found my way

I am bound to you

I am bound to

Suddenly the moment’s here

I embrace my fears

All that I have been carrying all these years

Do I risk it all, come this far just to fall, fall?

Oh, I can trust

And boy, I believe in us

I am terrified to love for the first time

Can’t you see that I’m bound in chains

And finally found my way

I am bound to you

I am

Ooh, I am

I’m bound to you


Colin
You Are The Reason

Calum Scott

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShZ978fBl6Y

This song perfectly describes Colin’s heart after Joshua leaves Virginia without giving any clue where he had gone. Colin didn’t understand his own feelings at first. He only knew that nothing in his life made sense anymore. Since his sister’s death, Colin’s heart had been locked up tight. He refused to cry then or now because losing control was his greatest fear. But Joshua’s quiet, steady presence had cracked the lava-incrusted walls encasing Colin’s wounded heart and he could no longer suppress or control the feelings that raged within him. But from that tsunami of feelings emerged one shining truth, he loved Joshua Abrams. It was now time to lay aside his pride and admit that Joshua was the reason his life was in tatters, and that he had to find a way to fix what he had broken.

There goes my heart beating

‘Cause you are the reason

I’m losing my sleep

Please come back now

There goes my mind racing

And you are the reason

That I’m still breathing

I’m hopeless now

I’d climb every mountain

And swim every ocean

Just to be with you

And fix what I’ve broken

Oh, ’cause I need you to see

That you are the reason

 

There goes my hand shaking

And you are the reason

My heart keeps bleeding

I need you now

If I could turn back the clock

I’d make sure the light defeated the dark

I’d spend every hour, of every day

Keeping you safe

And I’d climb every mountain

And swim every ocean

Just to be with you

And fix what I’ve broken

Oh, ’cause I need you to see

That you are the reason, oh

(I don’t wanna fight no more)

(I don’t wanna hurt no more)

(I don’t wanna cry no more)

(Come back, I need you to hold me closer now)

You are the reason, oh

(Just a little closer now)

(Come a little closer now)

(I need you to hold me tonight)

I’d climb every mountain

And swim every ocean

Just to be with you

And fix what I’ve broken

‘Cause I need you to see

That you are the reason


Colin

“Free Fallin'”

Tom Petty

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lWJXDG2i0A

This song defines Colin perfectly in the days of Love’s Magic. But this song resonates in his heart hand-in-hand with a terrible and soul-crushing sadness. He IS free. But only in the most mundane sense. In truth his heart is imprisoned by a crushing sense of fear and guilt. If anything, he longs for the very same love and intimacy which he most fears. His love of independence is a façade designed to protect a deeply wounded heart.

She’s a good girl, loves her mama

Loves Jesus and America too

She’s a good girl, who’s crazy ’bout Elvis

Loves horses and her boyfriend too

And it’s a long day livin’ in Reseda

There’s a freeway runnin’ through the yard

And I’m a bad boy, cause I don’t even miss her

I’m a bad boy for breakin’ her heart

 

Now I’m free

Free fallin’

Yeah, I’m free

Free fallin’

 

Now all the vampires walkin’ through the valley

Move west down Ventura boulevard

And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows

And the good girls are home with broken hearts

 

Now I’m free

I’m free fallin’

Yeah, I’m free

Free fallin’

 

Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m

Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now

 

I wanna glide down over Mulholland

I wanna write her name in the sky

I’m gonna free fall out into nothin’

Gonna leave this world for awhile

 

Now I’m free (Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m)

Free fallin’ (Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m)

Yeah, I’m free (Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m)

Free fallin’ (Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m)

(Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m)

Now I’m free

Free fallin’

Oh (Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m)

Free fallin’ (Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m)

Now I’m free (Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m)

Oh, free fallin’ (Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m)

(Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m) Free fallin’


David Gardener:

The Greatest Love

Whitney Houston

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYzlVDlE72w

Through Love’s Magic David is learning to leave behind the critical voice of his father and find his own worth, with the help of his therapist and from the unwavering support of his loving partner. Nate helped David to find that ‘greatest love’ and stood beside him as it healed his heart.

I believe the children are our are future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be

Everybody searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfill my needs
A lonely place to be
And so I learned to depend on me

 

I decided long ago
Never to walk in anyone’s shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I’ll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can’t take away my dignity

 

Because the greatest
Love of all is happening to me
I found the greatest
Love of all inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself

It is the greatest love of all

I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be

 

I decided long ago
Never to walk in anyone’s shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I’ll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can’t take away my dignity

Because the greatest
Love of all is happening to me
I found the greatest
Love of all inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

And if, by chance, that special place
That you’ve been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love


Colin

Love in the First Degree

Alabama

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3mBSQ-GP0s

Colin was resolved to never allow love to imprison his fiercely independent Irish heart but darkly handsome Joshua Abrams began to slowly break down that resolve. When Colin’s hot, Irish temper ended their relationship he was forced to look within and confront the dark secret which lay at the root of his anger. When Joshua left Colin was sure he’d get over it as he had a thousand times before… but he never made it to the door.

I once thought of love as a prison
a place I didn’t want to be
So long ago, I made a decision
to be footloose and fancy-free

But you came and I was so tempted
to gamble on love just one time
I never thought, that I would get caught
It seemed like the perfect crime

 

Baby you left me defense-less
I’ve only got one plea
Lock me away, inside of your love
and throw away the key
I’m guilty…of love in the first degree

I thought it would be so simple
like a thousand times before
I’d take what I wanted, and just walk away
but I never made it to the door

Now babe I’m not beggin’ for mercy
go ahead and throw the book at me
If lovin’ you’s a crime
I know that I’m as guilty as a man can be

 

Baby you left me defense-less
I’ve only got one plea
Lock me away, inside of your love
and throw away the key
I’m guilty…of love in the first degree

Love in the first degree (oh-oh yeah)
Love in the first degree
Oh Yeeeaaaah!

Baby you left me defense-less
I’ve only got one plea
Lock me away, inside of your love
and throw away the key
I’m guilty…of love in the first degree


Joshua Abrams

Magic Man

Heart

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ps7tVvQHLyo

Joshua knew from the moment of their first meeting that Colin was his ‘magic man’. There was no escape from the overwhelming allure of Colin’s enchantment. But Colin’s refusal to open his heart left Joshua lonely and adrift, and when Colin’s hot, Irish temper exploded and ended their relationship, he knew he had to return home and try to free himself from Colin’s magical hold on his heart.

Cold, late night so long ago
When I was not so strong you know
A pretty man came to me
I never seen eyes so blue
You know, I could not run away it seemed
We’d seen each other in a dream
Seemed like he knew me, he looked right through me, yeah

“Come on home, girl” he said with a smile
“you don’t have to love me yet, let’s get high awhile
But try to understand, try to understand
Try, try, try to understand, I’m a magic man”

Winter nights we sang in tune
Played inside the months of moon
“Never think of never..let this spell last forever”
Well, summer lover passed to fall
Tried to realize it all
Mama says she’s worried, growing up in a hurry

“Come on home, girl” Mama cried on the phone
“Too soon to lose my baby yet, my girl should be at home”
But try to understand, try to understand
Try, try, try to understand, he’s a magic man, Mama, ah
He’s a magic man

“Come on home, girl” he said with a smile
“I cast my spell of love on you, a woman from a child”
But try to understand, try to understand
Oh, oh, try, try, try to understand,
He’s a magic man, oh, he’s got the magic hands

Oh’s over top

“Come on home, girl” he said with a smile
“You don’t have to love me yet, let’s get high awhile”
But try to understand, try to understand
Try, try, try to understand, he’s a magic man, yeah, oh


Nate Reese

Separate Ways

The idyllic life Nate shares with David Gardener is shaken to the core when Nate is injured struggling to protect a student under attack. Traumatized by the incident, Nate seeks answers and resolution by becoming a leader of activist group called ‘End Assault’, a decision which David refuses to support. Feeling abandoned by his lover, Nate is heartbroken and fears their relationship may lose its way in the face of this unresolvable dilemma. He couldn’t change David’s mind. They were world’s apart.

“Separate Ways”

Journey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcjzHMhBtf0

Here we stand
Worlds apart
Hearts broken in two, two, two
Sleepless nights
Losing ground
I’m reaching for you, you, you

Feelin’ that it’s gone
Can’t change your mind
If we can’t go on
To survive the tide
Love divides

Someday love will find you
Break those chains that bind you
One night will remind you
How we touched
And went our separate ways

If he ever hurts you
True love won’t desert you
You know I still love you
Though we touched
And went our separate ways

Troubled times
Caught between confusion and pain, pain, pain
Distant eyes
Promises we made were in vain, in vain, in vain

If you must go
I wish you love
You’ll never walk alone
Take care, my love
Miss you, love

Someday love will find you
Break those chains that bind you
One night will remind you
How we touched
And went our separate ways

If he ever hurts you
True love won’t desert you
You know I still love you
Though we touched
And went our separate ways

No

Someday love will find you
Break those chains that bind you
One night will remind you

If he ever hurts you
True love won’t desert you
You know I still love you

I still love you, girl
I really love you, girl

And if he ever hurts you
True love won’t desert you
No, no


Love’s Magic

Magic

The true enchantment of Love’s Magic is beautifully reflected in this song by Olivia Newton-John. None of the four unique men of Love’s Magic realize the magic that lies within themselves, nor do they yet realize that the magic of the love they feel for their estranged lovers is the key to the healing and peace they have sought all their lives

Magic

Olivia Newton-John

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sl5bqHP0-KA

Come take my hand
You should know me
I’ve always been in your mind
You know I will be kind
I’ll be guiding you

Building your dream has to start now
There’s no other road to take
You won’t make a mistake
I’ll be guiding you

You have to believe we are magic
Nothin’ can stand in our way
You have to believe we are magic
Don’t let your aim ever stray

And if all your hopes survive
Destiny will arrive
I’ll bring all your dreams alive
For you
I’ll bring all your dreams alive
For you

From where I stand, you are home free
The planets align so rare
There’s promise in the air
And I’m guiding you

I know. You’re sick of hearing it.

Ok. Here I come doing what every other author on the planet has done and will always do… beg for reviews.

I know. You’ve heard it all before. ‘Please, PLEEEEASE review my book!’ Believe me, I hate saying it and I’d imagine that every other author is as sick of saying it as I am. You feel like a beggar on a street corner holding out a tin cup. But the nature of published works is that reviews matter. They count. Hell, even a BAD review is better than NO review, which makes little sense to me but which is true none the less.

It’s hard to constantly be asking people to give of their time to write down what they think of your work. It feels awkward and embarrassing. Our readers have already given of their time – not to mention their hard-earned money – to support your work, and here we come asking for even more. I understand why readers get annoyed by the constant pestering. First it’s ‘BUY MY BOOK’! Then it’s ‘REVIEW MY BOOK!’. Soon to be followed, no doubt, by ‘BUY THE SEQUEL TO MY BOOK!’

May I just say this? Authors hate doing it. We cringe inside very single time we put those posts and emails out there. We don’t want to annoy people. We don’t want to be pests. Honestly. But there is also this: We believe in our work. Many if not most of us have spent years developing these books. We’ve made huge investments of time, energy, love, sweat, tears, and often money (for editors, cover artists, promotions, etc… ) all because we honestly believe we’re telling a good story which you would enjoy reading.

Some of us aren’t even in it for the money. We simply love to write, love our characters, and believe we told a great story which we’re dying to share with like-minded folks. And the hard, cold, truth is Amazon rules when it comes to books, and on Amazon reviews are what puts your work at the top of the ‘customers who read this item also bought‘ list, which is where every author yearns to be.

So, dear readers, my plea to you is this. Review, review, review. I don’t care what book it is, write a review. Write two words: ‘Great read!’ and toss in a few stars. Please.

OR.. what the hell, if you didn’t like the book, say so!! But also say why. Don’t just 1-star it and walk away. Tell the author where you think they fell short. You’re entitled to your opinion, and believe me, any reviewer who points out the faults and flaws in my work has done me a huge favor. It may not feel good at the time, but it teaches me what I need to know in order to get better at what I do.

For me the truth is this: I love my characters and I believe in their story. I want my work to do well because I want to attract new readers who will also love my characters and become invested in their story. Please help me, and every other author out there (who I’m sure feels exactly the same way) by reviewing their work on Amazon, Goodreads, Bookbub, Smashwords… you name it.

You will be giving a huge and very welcome gift to folks who have taken the big, scary step of putting their heart’s blood out there for the world to read and judge. Please. Write that review.


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Reach me at: jjarrell@lovesmagic.online
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Click here to purchase!!!

Naming the guys.

I thought a lot about my characters before I started writing Love’s Magic. I chose their names carefully because I wanted the names to say something about their character rather than being merely a meaningless label.

Joshua, for instance, means “Jehovah is generous. Jehovah saves.” In the long run I knew that Joshua was a man who would channel his need for healing into helping others. Josh gives of himself even when he receives nothing in return. The Urban Dictionary says about Joshua “His heart is beautiful, and only very few people have touched it. But he touches the hearts of many and doesn’t even know it.” I think this statement beautifully illustrates his relationship with Colin.

Joshua hid his heart away. His fear of rejection and abandonment made him very self-protective and unable to see his own inner beauty. Not many people saw into his heart. And, certainly, when he and Colin first met he had no idea how deeply his presence affected the feisty Irish police officer. Even after their explosive parting, he remained convinced that Colin’s heart had not been touched by their relationship when nothing could have been further from the truth.

There are a couple meanings I found for Colin’s name, one being ‘victory for the people’ the other being ‘cub’ or ‘child’. Both meanings fit him perfectly. His whole life revolves around his struggle to gain victory for people who’ve been harmed by the world. He fights like ten mad demons to win justice for them. And on many levels, Colin IS a child. He’s carefree and reckless. He’s exciting and enjoyable. He’s just a huge ball of Irish energy unleashed upon the world… and upon Joshua.

The fact that David Gardener’s name means ‘beloved’ is a touch of irony, because David suffered for years from wounds which left a dark shadow over his life, leaving him feeling anything but ‘beloved’. Even his many professional accomplishments couldn’t triumph over the poor self-image he acquired from an overly critical father. When Nate entered his life, he finally began to believe in himself.

The meaning of Nate’s name, “Gift from god”, would perfectly reflect how David felt about his beautiful, creative partner. For Nate, David’s entire being was mirrored in the broad shoulders and sturdy build which reflected the quiet inner strength Nate relied on in both good times and bad. And in being god’s gift to David, he allowed David to believe he was, indeed, beloved.

I enjoyed exploring my characters through this kind of creative lens. It helped me understand them more deeply and, as a result, they become more real to those who visit their world.


Reach me at: jjarrell@lovesmagic.online
Like us on Facebook: Revolutionary Heart- Love’s Magic
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Find Love’s Magic on Amazon! FREE on Kindle Unlimited!!!

Click here to purchase!!!

Join my review team!!

One group of people matters most to authors – and that’s YOU, the reader. Our readers, have the power to make or break a book by simply telling the world what they feel about it.  Loved it, hated it, however you feel, I need your feedback.

As you may know, reviews can be tough to come by these days. So I’m forming a review team of  dedicated readers who will receive a FREE advanced release copies of all my work!!

Right now the focus is on the sequel to Love’s Magic, entitled Love’s Trials, scheduled for release in October. Love’s Trials is a contemporary gay romance novel with lots heat, lots of drama and lots of excitement. It continues the story of two characters you met in Love’s Magic, Colin and Joshua. They are in love and supremely happy, until a trial that they could not have anticipated threatens not only their relationship but possibly their lives.I would be thrilled to welcome you as apart of my review team and feel sure that you’ll love reading about Colin and Joshua’s ‘trials’.

Please click here to join up with us!! 


Reach me at: jjarrell@lovesmagic.online
Like us on Facebook: Revolutionary Heart- Love’s Magic
Goodreads Author Profile Page
Follow me on Twitter @Revolut35174972
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Find Love’s Magic on Amazon! FREE on Kindle Unlimited!!!

Click here to purchase!!!

Something that few people know about me!!

Tell me one thing hardly anyone knows about you.

Well, the first thing that comes to mind is that I spent 15 years reading Tarot cards and doing Astrological horoscopes for a living. Not only that, but I taught the very first online Tarot class in the history of the world and this was loooong before the Internet. It was on a service known as Quantum-Line, or Q-link which was the precursor to AOL. I taught classes there, led full moon meditations. It was great, GREAT fun!

And it was the beginning of what is now, of course, a world-wide phenomenon, the WEB. It was more fun back then because we were involved in ground-breaking activities and making our own rules up as we went… always MY favorite thing to do.

I enjoyed reading Tarot cards. I never saw them as a way to tell fortunes or predict the future. I used them much as a psychologist (Joshua?) would use ink-blots. They’re a great psychological tool, and a lot of fun.

I’ve always seen the Magician as the card meant for authors. The Magician lifts his wand toward the skies to call on inspiration and then uses the tools he has been given to make that inspiration manifest in the world. This is what authors do all the time. Even those authors who have yet to sell even one book have created something magical. They have drawn on the power of the Universe and manifested that power on Earth. I don’t care if it’s a children’s book, a cookbook, or a contemporary gay romance novel like mine… they are all a manifestation of what is most divine within each of us.

That should make every single author feel like a Magician… because they ARE!


Reach me at: jjarrell@lovesmagic.online
Like us on Facebook: Revolutionary Heart- Love’s Magic
Goodreads Author Profile Page
Follow me on Twitter @Revolut35174972
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Find Love’s Magic on Amazon! FREE on Kindle Unlimited!!!

Click here to purchase!!!

COME BE A MANIAC!!


 COME BE A MANIAC! 

If you are passionate and enthusiastic about Janice Jarrell’s books, we need your help on the Jarrell’s Bibliomaniacs street team! We are lucky to have such a devoted fan base, and it’s fans like you that make Jan’s books such a great success. If you choose to be a part of our ‘Maniacs’ team, you will be rewarded with free ebooks, Amazon gift cards, and other great prizes. Want to get involved? We’re always in search of outgoing friends to help spread the word. Take a journey with us!! Come be a Maniac!!!

SIGN UP HERE!!!!


Reach me at: jjarrell@lovesmagic.online
Like us on Facebook: Revolutionary Heart- Love’s Magic
Goodreads Author Profile Page
Follow me on Twitter @Revolut35174972
Follow me on Pinterest!!

Find Love’s Magic on Amazon!

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